Topic of the month: The Cross Dressers Wives * Our Secret Lives
Our hopes were BIG. We knew this book was riveting, unique, trajectly true, yet almost unbelievable. We disclosed our life stories, with the purpose and hope that this book could reach other cross dresser’s wives, who were living their husbands secretive, taboo often baneful lives.
Everyone thought that since we had such a huge number of cyber hits on our website,crossdresserswives.com, that most likely cross dressers wives would be more than anxious to read a book that addressed her secret life. There are millions of us living in the US alone! And we have a large presence in Canada, the UK and India along with dozen of other countries.
The genesis of the book took place over Labor Day Weekend, four years ago. Someone posted on the Forum that ‘we’ should all write a book about our stories. I watched as many cross dresser’s wives started to post that they wanted to contribute to this book but they would have to figure out a way to do so. It was such a challenge, how are these women going to write their story while living with their cross dressing husbands? That was just the beginning…
The sales of the book are disappointing at this time. However, we know that once this story hits major media that hopefully the exposure will lead to a much needed increase in the sales of the book. There are a few erroneous stories about how many books have been sold. Unfortunately the stories are simply not true. -Not yet! We have reason to believe that this book will have the exposure it so desperately needs.
Of course there have been some sales. Cross dressers are buying the book! When we do receive a rare request from our site to mail the book, there are normally unusual mailing requests, such as please mail it to my work, my friend’s, my therapist’s offices and of course lots of PO Box addresses-anywhere but home!!! We sadly discovered the book is a secret too! Who knew?
Blessings,
Dee A Levy
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Tim’s Corner (Our CD Family Advisor)…
I would like to address a subject that is a big, ongoing topic on the forum. I have heard so many of you talk about acceptance of your spouse and his cross dressing. I have found, from my first hand experience, that couples who choose acceptance without therapy and or understanding all of the underpinnings and repercussions of this life long condition, is what I call Expectance (so I had to coin a new word). Expectance is blind acceptance that can lead to other EX’S, like Ex-husband andEx-wife.
I have talked with so many wives wanting to accept their husband’s cross dressing out of love and wanting to help, thinking excectance is the answer. My experiential knowledge is that most often blind acceptance most often causes escalation of cross dressing-making things worse for all involved. Not all cross dressers’ will do this but most will want to add more or think that acceptance means you are ok with this and will soon be able to participate in their dressing. When things explode and you want it to stop, the CDH can't understand why.
I want couples to understand as much as possible about cross dressing. It was said on the forum that cross-dressing seems to be displayed as a simple issue on all the other cross-dressing sites. Unfortunately, they all seem to agree and never contradict anyone. Many other sites want you to believe it is OK and there is nothing wrong with it.
Control for the cross dresser is another thing that is misunderstood by both the CDW and the CDH. Control is from two sources: outside control and inside control. Outside control means that the CDH attempts to control his environment, mostly because they don't want to get divorced, or have the kids or anyone else to find out. Inside control is the key to understanding cross dressers. That is why I am doing what I am doing today; I am able to see this challenging situation from another perspective. Cross dressing is so ingrained in them. Too many CDH can’t see it but one way (their way). It takes someone who can find that place in their mind that will change the mind from outside control to inside control.
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Hotline
Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with thousands of cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife.
Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes are free.
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Hotline Testamonials
"You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”
"I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."
"The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."
"The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."
"After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers’ wives - the Founder is."
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Donations and Volunteers
We are a charitable, non-for profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely almost solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support.
________________________________________________________________Quote of the Month:
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
Anonymous
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