New CDW Questionnaire
Happy Valentine’s Day to all! Remember to love yourself. Self-care is required for living your best, most authentic life.
Our website www.crossdresserswives.com and The Forum are growing exponentially, with new wives from all over the globe discovering our safe haven every day. We are expanding and breaking fresh ground. Since the inception of Cross Dressers Wives, thousands of questionnaires have been collected and examined. (There is a link on the Home Page for the Questionnaire.) Many of you have already taken the time to fill one out, providing CDW an opportunity to utilize your input. Thank you!
Currently, CDW is collaborating with a brilliant clinical psychologist who is also a retired professor. Together, we are in the process of constructing a new, more informative questionnaire. However, we cannot accomplish this significant project without some invaluable information from the silent experts on cross dressers’ wives: YOU! Please review our current Questionnaire while asking yourselves…
What questions or concerns do I have that are not addressed?
Hearing the stories of other cross dressers’ wives, what would I like to learn more about?
What if anything should be deleted from the questionnaire?
There is so little research on cross dressers’ wives. As a group, we can contribute significant information that will help lessen the impact this taboo issue can exert on this experiment that we call our lives. Cross Dressers Wives believes that your much needed cooperation and willingness to create a new improved questionnaire will ultimately help other cross dressers’ wives worldwide. There can be many benefits and responsibilities resulting from a website that receives 2 ½ million hits a year.
Our new book, The Cross Dresser’s Wife * Our Secret Lives, is already beginning to enlighten others both within our secretive world and beyond its immediate reach. Our additional research - funded by your generous donations and the book’s sales - will provide essential, singular information that scientists have yet to observe because the cross dresser’s wife usually doesn’t tell. When honesty, respect, and enlightenment grow, things change for the better. Each one of us has the power to make a difference.
We look forward to hearing from you. Your voices will be heard!!!
Blessings & Gratitude,
Dee (AKA The Founder)
HOTLINE
Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife.
Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes are free.
HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS
"The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."
"The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."
“You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”
"After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers wives - the Founder is."
"I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."
DONATIONS & VOLUNTEERS
We are a charitable, non-profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely almost solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support. Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.
For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Credit card donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’
______________________________________________________________________
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE
“There is a part of me that I didn’t even know I had until recently - instinct, intuition, whatever. It helps me and protects me. Its perception is astute. I listen to the inside of me and I know what to do.”
Inez, 33 year-old mother of three
Women’s Ways of Knowing: The Development of Self, Voice, and Mind (1986)
Mary Belenky, Blythe Clinchy, Nancy Goldberger & Jill Tarule (pg. 54.)
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
CROSS DRESSERS WIVES JANUARY 2012 NEWSLETTER
TOPIC FOR THE MONTH –
Legalities of Cross Dressers/Transgenders/Transexuals
Happy, Healthy & Prosperous New Year. May all of your dreams become reality!!!
Today, with gender issues at the forefront of many top news stories, there are multiple unanswered questions surrounding the legal rights of cross dressers, transgenders, and transsexuals. For example, let’s examine the recent incident of a Macy's store employee who was fired because she would not allow a male-to-female transgender to use the ladies dressing room. Whose rights were violated? The transgender? The other women in their designated dressing rooms? Or the religious employee? So far, the jury is out. Allegedly, the employee is claiming faith-based reasons for refusing to allow a male cross dresser/transgender female into a female dressing room. The employee claims, based upon her religious beliefs, that it is a lie that the transgender is really a female. However, this country’s laws are supposed to be based upon the separation of church and state. The transgender did not feel comfortable in a male dressing room. Who is right? Could all parties have valid points and concerns? Perhaps…
Can we pretend for a moment that the transgender was our son? Would we want our son to be treated in a way in which he was made to feel uncomfortable? What if we were in the dressing room with our young children who were old enough to understand that there was a man dressed up like a woman in a Macy's women’s dressing room? Would you take action? What would that action look like? Things are really beginning to boil in regards to gender issues, and there are a lot of different types of confrontations that I highly suspect will be decided upon through the most legal avenue of all, the Supreme Court.
Macy’s has friendly Gay & Lesbian policies - allegedly written by a transsexual employee. Other stores like Nordstrom’s do not have ‘set standard policies’ but suggest their employees use common sense in instances such as this. If a cross dresser wants to try on a dress - if there is a third dressing area available - use that one instead. That way, no one is offended. But, really? I believe that at some point, as more and more cross dressers and transgenders come out of their closets and want to use other companies' closets to try on clothes, eventually major department stores will have policies in place to either let the customer choose - or let the employee choose. Either way, I clearly envision this ending up on the black-robed laps of Supreme Court Justices. I confess, I can see everyone’s perspective and do not envy those who will ultimately make the final decisions.
As this New Year unfolds, we must admit that times are a changing. If a cross dresser or transgender has come out of the closet, does that mean that they will now be shut out of store closets?
Please note that I am only trying to provoke people to think critically about these issues and try to get them to see things from a more circumspect point of view. I do not have the answers, only more questions.
Blessings & Gratitude,
Dee (AKA The Founder)
HOTLINE
Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife.
Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes are free.
HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS
"The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."
"The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."
“You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”
"After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers wives - the Founder is."
"I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."
DONATIONS & VOLUNTEERS
We are a charitable, non-profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely almost solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support. Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.
For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Credit card donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’
______________________________________________________________________
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE
“Truth keeps the hands cleaner then soap.” (West African Proverb taken from Abounding Grace by Dr. Scott Peck, pg. 252.)
Legalities of Cross Dressers/Transgenders/Transexuals
Happy, Healthy & Prosperous New Year. May all of your dreams become reality!!!
Today, with gender issues at the forefront of many top news stories, there are multiple unanswered questions surrounding the legal rights of cross dressers, transgenders, and transsexuals. For example, let’s examine the recent incident of a Macy's store employee who was fired because she would not allow a male-to-female transgender to use the ladies dressing room. Whose rights were violated? The transgender? The other women in their designated dressing rooms? Or the religious employee? So far, the jury is out. Allegedly, the employee is claiming faith-based reasons for refusing to allow a male cross dresser/transgender female into a female dressing room. The employee claims, based upon her religious beliefs, that it is a lie that the transgender is really a female. However, this country’s laws are supposed to be based upon the separation of church and state. The transgender did not feel comfortable in a male dressing room. Who is right? Could all parties have valid points and concerns? Perhaps…
Can we pretend for a moment that the transgender was our son? Would we want our son to be treated in a way in which he was made to feel uncomfortable? What if we were in the dressing room with our young children who were old enough to understand that there was a man dressed up like a woman in a Macy's women’s dressing room? Would you take action? What would that action look like? Things are really beginning to boil in regards to gender issues, and there are a lot of different types of confrontations that I highly suspect will be decided upon through the most legal avenue of all, the Supreme Court.
Macy’s has friendly Gay & Lesbian policies - allegedly written by a transsexual employee. Other stores like Nordstrom’s do not have ‘set standard policies’ but suggest their employees use common sense in instances such as this. If a cross dresser wants to try on a dress - if there is a third dressing area available - use that one instead. That way, no one is offended. But, really? I believe that at some point, as more and more cross dressers and transgenders come out of their closets and want to use other companies' closets to try on clothes, eventually major department stores will have policies in place to either let the customer choose - or let the employee choose. Either way, I clearly envision this ending up on the black-robed laps of Supreme Court Justices. I confess, I can see everyone’s perspective and do not envy those who will ultimately make the final decisions.
As this New Year unfolds, we must admit that times are a changing. If a cross dresser or transgender has come out of the closet, does that mean that they will now be shut out of store closets?
Please note that I am only trying to provoke people to think critically about these issues and try to get them to see things from a more circumspect point of view. I do not have the answers, only more questions.
Blessings & Gratitude,
Dee (AKA The Founder)
HOTLINE
Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife.
Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes are free.
HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS
"The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."
"The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."
“You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”
"After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers wives - the Founder is."
"I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."
DONATIONS & VOLUNTEERS
We are a charitable, non-profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely almost solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support. Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.
For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Credit card donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’
______________________________________________________________________
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE
“Truth keeps the hands cleaner then soap.” (West African Proverb taken from Abounding Grace by Dr. Scott Peck, pg. 252.)
Friday, December 2, 2011
CROSS DRESSERS WIVES DECEMBER 2011 NEWSLETTER
TOPIC FOR THE MONTH –
“WHAT IS CROSS DRESSING?”
Of late, many of the newer wives on our Forum have repeatedly asked a common question – What is cross dressing and can my man be cured? What most of society thinks it knows about cross dressing is really nothing more than myth. Quite simply, cross dressing is defined as wearing clothing commonly associated with the opposite gender. Period. Cross dressing, or transvestism, implies no transgender, sexual, or homosexual motives.
Most often, cross dressing begins in early childhood and there is no known “cure” for this lifelong condition. Nature or nurture? The jury is out and few solid answers exist. Some social scientists will argue strongly that societal expectations of men are so rigid that in order to alleviate the stress of this expectation, men reach for women’s clothing as a method of balancing their masculine with their feminine side. Other social scientists will say the budding cross dresser is attempting to disassociate his or herself from the same-sex parent. Others argue that this is biochemically determined in utero.
Case in point, the recent blockbuster film J. Edgar starring Leonard DiCaprio as history’s most infamous cross dresser, FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover, clearly demonstrates classic signs of the developing cross dresser:
The young Hoover rejected and was dismissive of his insane father. Hoover adored and revered his dominant mother for her entire life. He had a tactile fascination with silky garments and shiny surfaces; the set for his bedroom overflows with lace doilies, his mother's jewelry, ivory and gleaming woods smooth to the touch, and delicate scarves tossed liberally over everything. Early in the film, it is established that Hoover can "keep a secret" and that "information is powerful." There is a strong sartorial undercurrent throughout the film.
Although the film depicts the extreme inner torment that Hoover suffers as a closeted homosexual cross dresser, this is not the norm. Overwhelmingly, studies show that 85% of cross dressers are heterosexual men who marry and father children with their often clueless wives. When a closeted cross dresser marries, he misrepresents himself. Our new book, The Cross Dresser’s Wife * Our Secret Lives, depicts in shocking emotional detail how such a secret can inflict untold harm on all involved.
As society is exposed to more and more truths about cross dressing, perhaps the shroud of absolute secrecy can be lifted. Knowledge and dialogue are needed to bust the myths and pull cross dressing out of the closet once and for all.
Merry Holidays!
Dee a.k.a. The Founder
HOTLINE
Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife. Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes are free.
HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS
"The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."
“You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”
"The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."
"After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers wives - the Founder is."
"I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."
DONATIONS & VOLUNTEERS
We are a charitable, non-profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support. Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.
For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE
“Watch for big problems. They disguise big opportunities.” The Complete Life’s Little Instruction Book, by H. Jackson Brown, Jr. (page 41)
“WHAT IS CROSS DRESSING?”
Of late, many of the newer wives on our Forum have repeatedly asked a common question – What is cross dressing and can my man be cured? What most of society thinks it knows about cross dressing is really nothing more than myth. Quite simply, cross dressing is defined as wearing clothing commonly associated with the opposite gender. Period. Cross dressing, or transvestism, implies no transgender, sexual, or homosexual motives.
Most often, cross dressing begins in early childhood and there is no known “cure” for this lifelong condition. Nature or nurture? The jury is out and few solid answers exist. Some social scientists will argue strongly that societal expectations of men are so rigid that in order to alleviate the stress of this expectation, men reach for women’s clothing as a method of balancing their masculine with their feminine side. Other social scientists will say the budding cross dresser is attempting to disassociate his or herself from the same-sex parent. Others argue that this is biochemically determined in utero.
Case in point, the recent blockbuster film J. Edgar starring Leonard DiCaprio as history’s most infamous cross dresser, FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover, clearly demonstrates classic signs of the developing cross dresser:
The young Hoover rejected and was dismissive of his insane father. Hoover adored and revered his dominant mother for her entire life. He had a tactile fascination with silky garments and shiny surfaces; the set for his bedroom overflows with lace doilies, his mother's jewelry, ivory and gleaming woods smooth to the touch, and delicate scarves tossed liberally over everything. Early in the film, it is established that Hoover can "keep a secret" and that "information is powerful." There is a strong sartorial undercurrent throughout the film.
Although the film depicts the extreme inner torment that Hoover suffers as a closeted homosexual cross dresser, this is not the norm. Overwhelmingly, studies show that 85% of cross dressers are heterosexual men who marry and father children with their often clueless wives. When a closeted cross dresser marries, he misrepresents himself. Our new book, The Cross Dresser’s Wife * Our Secret Lives, depicts in shocking emotional detail how such a secret can inflict untold harm on all involved.
As society is exposed to more and more truths about cross dressing, perhaps the shroud of absolute secrecy can be lifted. Knowledge and dialogue are needed to bust the myths and pull cross dressing out of the closet once and for all.
Merry Holidays!
Dee a.k.a. The Founder
HOTLINE
Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife. Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes are free.
HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS
"The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."
“You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”
"The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."
"After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers wives - the Founder is."
"I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."
DONATIONS & VOLUNTEERS
We are a charitable, non-profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support. Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.
For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE
“Watch for big problems. They disguise big opportunities.” The Complete Life’s Little Instruction Book, by H. Jackson Brown, Jr. (page 41)
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
CROSS DRESSERS WIVES NOVEMBER 2011 NEWSLETTER TOPIC FOR THE MONTH – GIVING THANKS
Unexpected challenges may present additional opportunities for personal growth this holiday season, delivering a requirement for more self-compassion and decompression than usual. We all know that extra stress can mean more cross dressing on his part, so please take nice, deep, clean breaths and be thankful for all the good in your life. Remember, you are not alone. We are there. So smile!
It’s good to sit and take inventory of the reasons you have to be grateful and glad in life. Reflect on what is working as the mother-in-law arrives, he’s in drag, and your holiday to remember is racing ahead of you at an unstoppable velocity.
In my quieter moments, I marvel at how truly thankful I am to all of you, the women on the Forum. Your compassion, honesty, and heartfelt wisdom guide us all on a daily basis. Often, exchanges on the Forum bring me to tears – of joy. I am especially thankful to all the loyal and dedicated women who have remained an unwavering presence over the years. You have graciously extended of yourselves in order to take newcomers by the hand and lead them towards grace, hope and understanding. I am so thankful to all of you!
Many Blessings and Gratitude,
The Founder
P.S. On a separate note, a not entirely unexpected opportunity has presented itself to Cross Dressers Wives. As we continue to grow and gain momentum with the publication of our first book, The Cross Dresser’s Wife * Our Secret Lives, we have gained the attention of a television production company. They found us. Rest assured that the purpose and intention of this website remains focused on helping cross dressers wives and does not alter in any way.
This production company – we cannot disclose who yet – is very interested in developing a production about the unique struggles faced by many cross dressers and their wives. Their impressive track record includes thoughtful, provocative, and insightful programming that explores timely and progressive issues while maintaining the dignity and integrity of those involved. Presently, parameters of involvement remain unclear. I need to know… is anyone interested in participating? If so, please email me regarding ‘CDW TV’ @ cdwives@gmail.com with your thoughts. Thank you.
HOTLINE
Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife. Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes are free.
HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS
"The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."
“You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”
"The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."
"After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers wives - the Founder is."
"I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."
DONATIONS & VOLUNTEERS
We are a charitable, non-profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support. Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.
For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’
______________________________________________________________________
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE
“Nothing is impossible to a valiant heart.”
Jeanne D’Albret (motto adopted by her son, Henry IV, c. 1550)
It’s good to sit and take inventory of the reasons you have to be grateful and glad in life. Reflect on what is working as the mother-in-law arrives, he’s in drag, and your holiday to remember is racing ahead of you at an unstoppable velocity.
In my quieter moments, I marvel at how truly thankful I am to all of you, the women on the Forum. Your compassion, honesty, and heartfelt wisdom guide us all on a daily basis. Often, exchanges on the Forum bring me to tears – of joy. I am especially thankful to all the loyal and dedicated women who have remained an unwavering presence over the years. You have graciously extended of yourselves in order to take newcomers by the hand and lead them towards grace, hope and understanding. I am so thankful to all of you!
Many Blessings and Gratitude,
The Founder
P.S. On a separate note, a not entirely unexpected opportunity has presented itself to Cross Dressers Wives. As we continue to grow and gain momentum with the publication of our first book, The Cross Dresser’s Wife * Our Secret Lives, we have gained the attention of a television production company. They found us. Rest assured that the purpose and intention of this website remains focused on helping cross dressers wives and does not alter in any way.
This production company – we cannot disclose who yet – is very interested in developing a production about the unique struggles faced by many cross dressers and their wives. Their impressive track record includes thoughtful, provocative, and insightful programming that explores timely and progressive issues while maintaining the dignity and integrity of those involved. Presently, parameters of involvement remain unclear. I need to know… is anyone interested in participating? If so, please email me regarding ‘CDW TV’ @ cdwives@gmail.com with your thoughts. Thank you.
HOTLINE
Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife. Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes are free.
HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS
"The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."
“You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”
"The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."
"After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers wives - the Founder is."
"I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."
DONATIONS & VOLUNTEERS
We are a charitable, non-profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support. Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.
For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’
______________________________________________________________________
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE
“Nothing is impossible to a valiant heart.”
Jeanne D’Albret (motto adopted by her son, Henry IV, c. 1550)
Monday, September 26, 2011
CROSS DRESSERS WIVES OCTOBER 2011 NEWSLETTER
TOPIC FOR THE MONTH -
OUR SECRET IS OUT!
Our first book, The Cross Dresser’s Wife * Our Secret Lives, is FINALLY available! Congratulations, this book is a physical manifestation of us all! This is a monumental accomplishment for Cross Dressers Wives NPO and all cross dressers’ wives and partners who have shared similar experiences. Every woman who has posted on our worldwide Forum over the years has contributed towards this dream of having our voices heard.
Speaking of voices, here is a mere sprinkling of the glowing reviews we have already received from those in the know:
“A much needed book, a window into a secret world few know about. A book of courage, wisdom and truth, whose voices will inspire many women to tell their stories and reclaim their lives! Brava!”
Veronica De Laurentiis, Best Selling Author of Rivoglio La Mia Vita (Claiming My Life)
“This book provides support and compassion to women who may be struggling with their issues as cross dressers’ wives. There is no doubt that the stories and insights presented here are vital for anyone who is on a journey of self-actualization.”
Gary Quinn, Best Selling Author of Living in the Spiritual Zone
“A riveting and important collection of memoirs that will not only appeal to cross dressers and their wives, but to all in relationships in which someone is harboring a shame-based secret. More importantly, this book has the potential to open up serious dialogue about the after-effects of closeted cross dressing and the devastation that results from such unnecessary stigma.”
Nicole Criona, LA Writers Group (LAwritersgroup.com)
“This book is a pioneering foray into painful territory previously foreign to most of us. The stories are sad, illuminating and gripping to read. They are tales of dreams poisoned, of trust betrayed, and of the toxic and infectious fruits of social ostracism; this book’s reach extends beyond its immediate subject.”
Anne M. Strick, Author of All the Doors to Hollywood and How to Open Them, Injustice For All, Intimate Strangers, and The Rebel Princess
Along this journey from dream to reality, we have certainly learned a multitude of lessons. We have learned to trust ourselves, trust the process, and ultimately trust the universe. By communicating honestly and openly about our experiences, The Cross Dresser’s Wife * Our Secret Lives will help guide cross dressers’ wives and society as a whole into an entirely new realm of compassion, understanding, and enlightenment.
HOW TO PURCHASE OUR BOOK
1. For readers within the United States, please visit THE BOOK’S BRAND NEW WEBSITE:
http://www.crossdresserswives.com/revision/oursecretlives.html
In addition to purchasing our book at a reduced price, you may discover further information in regards to future news items, reviews, events, and more.
2. For readers outside of the United States, please order your book copies by visiting:
www.createspace.com/3497141
3. Additionally, the book will be available on Kindle very soon and on Amazon.com (US).
Heartfelt gratitude must again go out to the brave Forum authors who chose to stand up and share their courageous stories with the world:
The Queen Of Denial by Queen Of Denial
The Golden Nugget by Saddened
Gaslighting by Shelly
His Favorite Woman by Natalie
Mr. Wonderful by me, The Founder
Blessings and Gratitude,
The Founder
HOTLINE
Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife. Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes are free.
HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS
“You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”
"The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."
"The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."
"After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers wives - the Founder is."
"I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."
DONATIONS & VOLUNTEERS
We are a charitable, non-profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support. Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.
For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE
“To speak of mere words is much like speaking of mere dynamite.” C. J. Ducasse
OUR SECRET IS OUT!
Our first book, The Cross Dresser’s Wife * Our Secret Lives, is FINALLY available! Congratulations, this book is a physical manifestation of us all! This is a monumental accomplishment for Cross Dressers Wives NPO and all cross dressers’ wives and partners who have shared similar experiences. Every woman who has posted on our worldwide Forum over the years has contributed towards this dream of having our voices heard.
Speaking of voices, here is a mere sprinkling of the glowing reviews we have already received from those in the know:
“A much needed book, a window into a secret world few know about. A book of courage, wisdom and truth, whose voices will inspire many women to tell their stories and reclaim their lives! Brava!”
Veronica De Laurentiis, Best Selling Author of Rivoglio La Mia Vita (Claiming My Life)
“This book provides support and compassion to women who may be struggling with their issues as cross dressers’ wives. There is no doubt that the stories and insights presented here are vital for anyone who is on a journey of self-actualization.”
Gary Quinn, Best Selling Author of Living in the Spiritual Zone
“A riveting and important collection of memoirs that will not only appeal to cross dressers and their wives, but to all in relationships in which someone is harboring a shame-based secret. More importantly, this book has the potential to open up serious dialogue about the after-effects of closeted cross dressing and the devastation that results from such unnecessary stigma.”
Nicole Criona, LA Writers Group (LAwritersgroup.com)
“This book is a pioneering foray into painful territory previously foreign to most of us. The stories are sad, illuminating and gripping to read. They are tales of dreams poisoned, of trust betrayed, and of the toxic and infectious fruits of social ostracism; this book’s reach extends beyond its immediate subject.”
Anne M. Strick, Author of All the Doors to Hollywood and How to Open Them, Injustice For All, Intimate Strangers, and The Rebel Princess
Along this journey from dream to reality, we have certainly learned a multitude of lessons. We have learned to trust ourselves, trust the process, and ultimately trust the universe. By communicating honestly and openly about our experiences, The Cross Dresser’s Wife * Our Secret Lives will help guide cross dressers’ wives and society as a whole into an entirely new realm of compassion, understanding, and enlightenment.
HOW TO PURCHASE OUR BOOK
1. For readers within the United States, please visit THE BOOK’S BRAND NEW WEBSITE:
http://www.crossdresserswives.com/revision/oursecretlives.html
In addition to purchasing our book at a reduced price, you may discover further information in regards to future news items, reviews, events, and more.
2. For readers outside of the United States, please order your book copies by visiting:
www.createspace.com/3497141
3. Additionally, the book will be available on Kindle very soon and on Amazon.com (US).
Heartfelt gratitude must again go out to the brave Forum authors who chose to stand up and share their courageous stories with the world:
The Queen Of Denial by Queen Of Denial
The Golden Nugget by Saddened
Gaslighting by Shelly
His Favorite Woman by Natalie
Mr. Wonderful by me, The Founder
Blessings and Gratitude,
The Founder
HOTLINE
Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife. Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes are free.
HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS
“You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”
"The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."
"The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."
"After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers wives - the Founder is."
"I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."
DONATIONS & VOLUNTEERS
We are a charitable, non-profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support. Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.
For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE
“To speak of mere words is much like speaking of mere dynamite.” C. J. Ducasse
Friday, September 2, 2011
CROSS DRESSERS WIVES SEPTEMBER 2011 NEWSLETTER
TOPIC FOR THE MONTH
RE-EMPOWERMENT
My co-editor on our soon-to-be best-selling book, The Cross Dresser’s Wife * Our Secret Lives, recently returned from a first trip to Sedona, Arizona. In the midst of photographing, hiking, and standing in awe of the massive red rock monuments and energy vortexes that inhabit this mystical region, I made it a point to set up a meeting between my co-editor and the same astrologer who seven years ago was the first to forecast www.crossdresserswives.com, the book(s) to follow, and more!
My co-editor was informed by our astrologer friend that August would be a time of trial and tribulation, meant to test our resolve and reveal what we are capable of withstanding. I checked in, and as we near the end of this month, my co-editor has confirmed that indeed, as predicted, “August sucked.”
With September upon us, so marks the unfortunate anniversary of 9/11, one of history’s greatest atrocities. Ironically, this is also an ideal astrological time to focus our positive energy on strengthening communications with those who share our world and with our inner self, where all true communication is born. Lately, we may not have been in the mood to talk about or express any truths in our heart other than anger or bitterness. However, according to our Sedona astrologer friend, the planets are encouraging all of us to downplay our differences and talk about mutual needs and concerns; what it is we share in common.
Now, perhaps more than ever before, cross dressers’ wives are more capable of looking deeply into our novel, thorny issues and discovering new, unimaginable opportunities for much-needed healing. Our Forum will continue to be utilized for encouraging, healing encounters, with cross dressers’ wives helping cross dressers’ wives free one another from old destructive patterns and enabling all of us to pursue more enlightened and peaceful paths. Please allow September to re-empower you to meet the future with renewed insights and confidence!
God bless all whose lives were lost and touched by 9/11.
Blessings and Gratitude,
The Founder
HOTLINE
Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife. Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes are free.
HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS
"The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."
"The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."
“You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”
"After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers wives - the Founder is."
"I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."
DONATIONS & VOLUNTEERS
We are a charitable, non-profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support. Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.
For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE
“The only time you have to succeed is the last time you try.” Philip H. Knight, former CEO and current Chairman of the Board of Nike, from The Most Important Things I Have Learned In Life, p. 92.
RE-EMPOWERMENT
My co-editor on our soon-to-be best-selling book, The Cross Dresser’s Wife * Our Secret Lives, recently returned from a first trip to Sedona, Arizona. In the midst of photographing, hiking, and standing in awe of the massive red rock monuments and energy vortexes that inhabit this mystical region, I made it a point to set up a meeting between my co-editor and the same astrologer who seven years ago was the first to forecast www.crossdresserswives.com, the book(s) to follow, and more!
My co-editor was informed by our astrologer friend that August would be a time of trial and tribulation, meant to test our resolve and reveal what we are capable of withstanding. I checked in, and as we near the end of this month, my co-editor has confirmed that indeed, as predicted, “August sucked.”
With September upon us, so marks the unfortunate anniversary of 9/11, one of history’s greatest atrocities. Ironically, this is also an ideal astrological time to focus our positive energy on strengthening communications with those who share our world and with our inner self, where all true communication is born. Lately, we may not have been in the mood to talk about or express any truths in our heart other than anger or bitterness. However, according to our Sedona astrologer friend, the planets are encouraging all of us to downplay our differences and talk about mutual needs and concerns; what it is we share in common.
Now, perhaps more than ever before, cross dressers’ wives are more capable of looking deeply into our novel, thorny issues and discovering new, unimaginable opportunities for much-needed healing. Our Forum will continue to be utilized for encouraging, healing encounters, with cross dressers’ wives helping cross dressers’ wives free one another from old destructive patterns and enabling all of us to pursue more enlightened and peaceful paths. Please allow September to re-empower you to meet the future with renewed insights and confidence!
God bless all whose lives were lost and touched by 9/11.
Blessings and Gratitude,
The Founder
HOTLINE
Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife. Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes are free.
HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS
"The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."
"The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."
“You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”
"After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers wives - the Founder is."
"I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."
DONATIONS & VOLUNTEERS
We are a charitable, non-profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support. Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.
For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE
“The only time you have to succeed is the last time you try.” Philip H. Knight, former CEO and current Chairman of the Board of Nike, from The Most Important Things I Have Learned In Life, p. 92.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Cross Dressers Wives AUGUST 2011 Newsletter
Topic For The Month
WE ALL MOURN IN DIFFERENT WAYS…
Dear Friends,
After recently losing my beloved father on July 20, 2011, I have come to know what it is to mourn the passing of a parent. I have learned (the hard way) that my family and friends all mourn in different ways. Sadly, this lesson has caused me great pain – pain that I never expected. The ones who were closest to me hurt me the most. I have been struggling with this during my time of mourning and recuperation. I cannot make any sense of why certain parties behaved so atrociously.
Now, by sharing my heartache and grief with my dear friends on the Forum, I ask that we all remain conscience of that fact that many of us are mourning the loss of a marriage or relationship that we thought we had with our cross dressing husband. It is imperative that we recognize that each and every one of us mourns in our own unique way and within our own timeframe.
Sadly, while two associates were monitoring the Forum during my recent absence, I was informed of some growing conflicts, hostility, and lack of respect sullying our safe haven. Once I did have the opportunity to return to our Forum, I saw many CDWs/partners lashing out at one another. While I thank the many of you who absolutely leapt to our Forum’s defense, the misconduct that took place broke my heart. The Forum, by definition, is… “an assembly or meeting place for the discussion of questions of public interest.” Additionally, our Forum uniquely deals with women who are in various stages of grief. Please remember to remain respectful of one another. We are all in the same boat; we might be on different decks or stages of grief, but we cannot sink the ship! We need each other!
Please know that I truly appreciate all the prayers and well wishes that I received during my hospital stay. More importantly, I must extend my heartfelt gratitude to all of you for your caring, support, and concern during the hardest days of my life, grieving the loss of my beloved father.
Blessings and Gratitude,
The Founder
P.S. From our Self-Help Page: DEALING WITH GRIEF
Stage 1: Denial - It is painful to let go of our perceived reality. We try to hold on to what we once knew and deny the situation of which we have no control. Once we accept that we cannot go back to the way to things were, we enter stage two.
Stage 2: Anxiety - We become worried and emotionally distressed about what is happening to our lives. Anxiety can express itself as hysteria, depression, lethargy, indifference or a catatonic stupor.
Stage 3: Anger - It is normal to feel betrayed, hurt and/or enraged. We have been lied to by his failure to reveal his true self.
Stage 4: Guilt - We wonder if his cross-dressing is our fault. Wasn't my femininity enough? Through education, we learn that his cross dressing is a life-long condition that starts in early childhood and has nothing to do with us.
Stage 5: Fear - It can be scary to begin a new life with no compass to help navigate unchartered waters, especially if we feel there is no one to turn to for help. We often fear he is homosexual, bi-sexual, or transsexual. We have fears of the unknown, because there are so few resources to explain what is happening in a relationship with a cross dresser.
Stage 6: Transition - We begin to work through the confusion and distress. We seek information and begin to see choices for our life ahead.
Stage 7: Transformation - There comes a time when we start to shift our thinking, examine our situation and resolve to embrace this passage into a new phase of life.
Stage 8: Acceptance - A choice has been made, to stay, compromise or to leave, and we begin to get our feet back on the ground. One may find it helpful to write a letter to your partner expressing forgiveness for the betrayal or any wrong that may have occurred. Once it is written, you can give it to them, throw it away, burn it, etc. This is an exercise to bring about one's own peace of mind.
HOTLINE
Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife. Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes is free.
HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS
"The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."
“You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”
"After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers wives - the Founder is."
"The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."
"I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."
DONATIONS & VOLUNTEERS
We are a charitable, non-profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support. Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.
For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE
“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”
Kahlil Gibran
(Lebanese American artist, poet, & writer, 1883 – 1931)
WE ALL MOURN IN DIFFERENT WAYS…
Dear Friends,
After recently losing my beloved father on July 20, 2011, I have come to know what it is to mourn the passing of a parent. I have learned (the hard way) that my family and friends all mourn in different ways. Sadly, this lesson has caused me great pain – pain that I never expected. The ones who were closest to me hurt me the most. I have been struggling with this during my time of mourning and recuperation. I cannot make any sense of why certain parties behaved so atrociously.
Now, by sharing my heartache and grief with my dear friends on the Forum, I ask that we all remain conscience of that fact that many of us are mourning the loss of a marriage or relationship that we thought we had with our cross dressing husband. It is imperative that we recognize that each and every one of us mourns in our own unique way and within our own timeframe.
Sadly, while two associates were monitoring the Forum during my recent absence, I was informed of some growing conflicts, hostility, and lack of respect sullying our safe haven. Once I did have the opportunity to return to our Forum, I saw many CDWs/partners lashing out at one another. While I thank the many of you who absolutely leapt to our Forum’s defense, the misconduct that took place broke my heart. The Forum, by definition, is… “an assembly or meeting place for the discussion of questions of public interest.” Additionally, our Forum uniquely deals with women who are in various stages of grief. Please remember to remain respectful of one another. We are all in the same boat; we might be on different decks or stages of grief, but we cannot sink the ship! We need each other!
Please know that I truly appreciate all the prayers and well wishes that I received during my hospital stay. More importantly, I must extend my heartfelt gratitude to all of you for your caring, support, and concern during the hardest days of my life, grieving the loss of my beloved father.
Blessings and Gratitude,
The Founder
P.S. From our Self-Help Page: DEALING WITH GRIEF
Stage 1: Denial - It is painful to let go of our perceived reality. We try to hold on to what we once knew and deny the situation of which we have no control. Once we accept that we cannot go back to the way to things were, we enter stage two.
Stage 2: Anxiety - We become worried and emotionally distressed about what is happening to our lives. Anxiety can express itself as hysteria, depression, lethargy, indifference or a catatonic stupor.
Stage 3: Anger - It is normal to feel betrayed, hurt and/or enraged. We have been lied to by his failure to reveal his true self.
Stage 4: Guilt - We wonder if his cross-dressing is our fault. Wasn't my femininity enough? Through education, we learn that his cross dressing is a life-long condition that starts in early childhood and has nothing to do with us.
Stage 5: Fear - It can be scary to begin a new life with no compass to help navigate unchartered waters, especially if we feel there is no one to turn to for help. We often fear he is homosexual, bi-sexual, or transsexual. We have fears of the unknown, because there are so few resources to explain what is happening in a relationship with a cross dresser.
Stage 6: Transition - We begin to work through the confusion and distress. We seek information and begin to see choices for our life ahead.
Stage 7: Transformation - There comes a time when we start to shift our thinking, examine our situation and resolve to embrace this passage into a new phase of life.
Stage 8: Acceptance - A choice has been made, to stay, compromise or to leave, and we begin to get our feet back on the ground. One may find it helpful to write a letter to your partner expressing forgiveness for the betrayal or any wrong that may have occurred. Once it is written, you can give it to them, throw it away, burn it, etc. This is an exercise to bring about one's own peace of mind.
HOTLINE
Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife. Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes is free.
HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS
"The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."
“You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”
"After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers wives - the Founder is."
"The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."
"I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."
DONATIONS & VOLUNTEERS
We are a charitable, non-profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support. Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.
For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE
“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”
Kahlil Gibran
(Lebanese American artist, poet, & writer, 1883 – 1931)
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