Cross Dressers Wives August 2012 Newsletter

Topic For The Month:

Data @ Cross Dressers Wives and Their Husbands

Even though we are still gathering vital data about cross dressers wives and their husbands, we would like to share some of the statistics we have deciphered. Some may be surprised by these results; others may expect to have these findings. Nonetheless, what is important to note is that there are only a handful of studies done on cross dressers wives-but our survey reached more different types of cross dressers wives. The previous studies were predominantly on cross dressers wives who attended cross dressing conventions. Can you imagine how many of us would do that-even once?

Please examine our new survey results. If you have not already done so, please take a few minutes to complete this survey. Just click on Questionnaire on the page where you enter the Forum.

The 90 wives who have completed this survey are overwhelmingly not affiliated with any support group, and more than half of them never post on our Cross Dressers Wives Forum. In fact, only about half regularly scan the Forum. The average CDW’s age is 49; the CDH’s average is 51. They have more college credits than women in the general population, and most are doing pretty well financially. About 40% have no religious affiliation. Three-fourths live in the United States, followed by England and Canada. Most remain married to a cross dresser, and about 75% say they will probably stay married.

Most of the husbands never go out in public cross dressed (60%), and another 10% seldom do so. Forty percent “usually” cross dress in a fetishist manner, wearing only a few items of women’s clothing, with 46% “usually” dressing fully as a woman. It is very uncommon for any of these wives to accompany their husband into any sort of public place.

It’s very interesting to find that 62% of this sample of wives rate their partners as “superior” or “excellent” when cross dressing is not taken into account. While divorce is a possibility for 25%, the rest say they will probably remain in the marriage.

A REQUEST:

In addition to doing the survey, will you please take a few minutes to write me and explain what steps you and your husband have taken to help work on the problem of cross dressing within a marriage? 

Just keep it short and simple, but try to explain what you have done that seems to have helped. I’m asking for this because I am starting to plan yet another questionnaire that will deal in more detail with how you are striving to make things work, and what seems to have been most helpful to you.

Of course, all responses will remain entirely anonymous. Please send your information to this email address:.

You are the world’s experts on this sub culture. Our voices have not been heard, yet, because we usually keep quiet. We want to help cross dressers wives all over the world. Please tell us what (if anything) has helped you with your marriage. Of course, we know that some marriages will not survive this-no way. Some will live as friends, and others will stay until their children leave. Every situation is unique and we are here to support your emotions. They are all valid!

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UPDATES

The Founder has been a guest speaker at a few college classes, as well as salons. We are trying each day to get the word out about CDW and the types of challenges they are dealing with-but first we need to educate people about CD-and bust the myths about CD being gay! Then why are CD overwhelmingly married and many have children? Well, we know but the rest of the world is still in the closet, and clearly in the dark. Let us continue to shed some light on this thorny, murky taboo sub culture.

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HOTLINE

 Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with thousands of cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife.

 Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes are free.

HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS 

 "You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”

 "I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."

 "The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."

 "The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."

 "After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers’ wives - the Founder is."

 DONATIONS; VOLUNTEER  We are a charitable, non for profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely almost solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support. 

Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone.  There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.

For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Credit card donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’   

____________________________________________________

              INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE:

“My dreams were all my own. I accounted to them to nobody; they were my refuge when annoyed-my dearest pleasure when free.”

Written by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, from the book, Follow Your Dreams (1997) by Liesl Vasquez.

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With Blessings and Gratitude,

       Dee A Levy

CROSS DRESSERS WIVES JULY NEWSLETTER 2012

TOPIC FOR THE MONTH: OUR SIGNIFICANT QUESTIONNAIRE

If you are the wife, the former wife, or full-time partner of a cross dresser, you are invited to respond to this questionnaire. 

Our goal is to gather information never before acquired from the wives and partners of cross dressers. Therefore, this is somewhat longer than many surveys, but we believe it will be worth your extra effort and time. It will take about 15 minutes. In addition to reporting the results on the Wives web site, we will submit a summary article to a scientific journal. We believe such an article can provide information about cross dressing from the wives' point of view that has never before been available.

Although some questions are quite personal, please try to respond to all questions. If you can't respond, just leave the question blank. If you wish, you can add comments at the end.

In all, there are 64 questions.

YOUR RESPONSES WILL BE ENTIRELY ANONYMOUS. YOUR SCREEN NAME WILL NOT BE RETAINED. YOU WILL NEVER BE IDENTIFIED IN ANY WAY.

Show your responses by clicking on one of the "buttons." 

On some questions you are invited to click on several buttons.

Upon completion of each page, click on NEXT to proceed.

Click on the PREVIOUS button to return to a previous page.

Upon completion of the survey, click on DONE to send it to us.

TO MAKE CORRECTIONS: 

1. For most questions, return to the question and click on the response you prefer. 

2. For questions that invite you to click on "any that apply," return to the button you want to omit, and click on it a second time.

PLEASE FILL OUT OUR QUESTIONAIRRE. GO TO THE SING IN PAGE FOR THE FORUM. THERE IS A LINK FOR THE QUESTIONARE. 

Thank you very much for your cooperation. Dee Levy, Director.

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UPDATES

The Founder has been a guest speaker at a few college classes, as well as salons. We are trying each day to get the word out about CDW and the types of challenges they are dealing with-but first we need to educate people about CD-and bust the myths about CD being gay! Then why are CD overwhelmingly married and many have children? Well, we know but the rest of the world is still in the closet, and clearly in the dark. Let us continue to shed some light on this thorny, murky taboo sub culture.

____________________________________________________________________

HOTLINE

 Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with thousands of cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife.

 Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. 

The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes are free.

 HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS 

“You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”

 "I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."

 "The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."

 "The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."

 "After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers’ wives - the Founder is."

 ____________________________________________________________________
 

DONATIONS & VOLUNTEERS We are a charitable, non for profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely almost solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support. Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.

 For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Credit card donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’ 

____________________________________________________________________

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE:

"I  began to understand that self esteem isn't everything; it's just that there's nothing without it."

One of my favorite women...Gloria Steinem.

From the book, Yes You Can! Complied by Marc Anello.

 I have had the delightful pleasure of meeting Gloria Steinem on several occasions. I even had a chance to speak with her one on one for quite a while, at one of my women studies professor's home. She was focused on my studies...she was by far so gracious, easy going and lovely. Her sweet energy surrounds this iconic feminist and humanist!

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Cross Dressers Wives June 2012 Newsletter

Topic for the month: Gratitude for Tim Our CD Family Advisor

Our non profit, Cross Dresser’s Wives, was contacted by several different cross dressers wives, who wanted to post something special for someone special: Tim. They were all genuinely so grateful to him for helping them and in many cases helping their CD husbands too. Most of these women felt hopeless but listening to Tim gave them tools, skills and hope. Not all marriages will survive-despite Tim’s advice.  However, those that choose to leave need assistance too. So, thank you Tim. This one’s for you…

Lindsay Sarah…

To all of the wives on this site, it is Lindsay Sarah and my prayer for you is to have a full and wonderful life. Being the wife of a cross dresser can be a stressful and miserable life. All of us know our stories are all different in some way. Each of us has dealt with this and has tried to find answers to all the questions. Having to keep this secret is the hardest part. Now we can share our thoughts on this site, which has given us a voice.

I am thankful for that in so many ways.

Even with the help of this site, there are still questions in all of us. The wives who wrote these letters of gratitude for Tim originally took things a step farther and contacted Tim. It was a hard step to take for all of us but we did. What we found was a caring and very understanding man that with his years of experience, explained things to us, things we never could see on our own. Tim gave each of us tools to use to help our husbands and us. It only took each of us a few times talking with him to know we found the help we needed. One of the posts said that they tried to accommodate and except their husband’s cross dressing. That doesn't work. What does work is total understanding. Once you understand your husbands and his cross dressing, it becomes clearer.

Tim's focus was on the wife first and then the husband. Some of you say that your husbands won't talk to anyone about this. I would not have believed it but my husband is talking to Tim and our life is very different! All of the wives that are in this newsletter are now believers and see that life is good. We are doing this in the hope that you will take the step and see that Tim can help you too. We all were helped and we see you all have questions. Tim gave us a better sense of understanding and we know he can give you the same. It doesn't matter if you stay with your husband or you leave. Tim will give you as much information as possible to make an informed decision. Thank you for your time and I wish all of you peace!

Lindsey…

My story is close to Dee's with how my husband came out. He waltzes into our bedroom fully dressed: dress bra with breast and heels and hose. I was so shocked and didn't handle it well. I was close to taking my own life. For days I couldn’t move. I stayed in bed. Husband wasn't any help and I couldn’t tell anyone I was lost. A good friend came and tried but I wasn't talking. She called several counselors all couldn't get me to talk. I didn't trust them. Then she called a female counselor. I did like her and we did talk some the first time. The second time she came I told her what happened it shocked her I think and I thought for sure I was doomed. She told me she didn't know much about gender issues but she knew just the person to help me. That person was Tim. From the first time he came over there was something about him, he talked me out of bed and that was a task in itself. He was so kind and patient with me. His understanding of how I felt was so comforting. His first concern was all me and we spent many hours talking about cross dressing and how we as a team could help my husband and our marriage. That was 20 years ago and we are a couple again. Tim cleared so many things for my husband to see how I felt and how to control his life. He was one not to talk to anyone about his feelings and Tim broke him of that. Now he shares his feelings, we are happy and grateful for Tim’s help. We can never repay him.

Karen…

When I found out my husband was a cross dresser, we were married over 20 years. I ignored it for as long as I could, I guess I thought it would go away. I did research on the net and as all of you know it was bad. Then I found this site. I did a lot of reading back post and came across Lindsay’s post. Being a newcomer I needed to at least email her to see what she had to say about Tim. All I can say to you is this: I thank Lindsey every day. Skipping over my friendship with Lindsey, Tim made so many things about my husband so clear. He showed me things about him I would never have thought of. Things I could do and say to make him see things for him. Tim helped me so I could help my husband. We are still working on this as it takes time to undo 20 years of thinking one way.

Thank you for reading my story.

 Sarah…

I was married several years before my husband told me he was a cross dresser. I thought I could handle it and I did for many years. It was something I put up with and he did not dress in front of me for a long time. Time passed, it was just something l lived with and I grew numb to it. Our marriage was OK but never the same. My husband became ill and things seemed to change. Something about him was different. Before he passed away he told me how sorry he was for all the pain he caused me.  I thought it would all be over. I had a new life, yet I was sad at first because I did love him but I thought all the pain would be gone from the cross dressing. I was wrong.

After many long nights searching the net, I found this site. I read about Tim and emailed The Founder for Tim address and we started talking. I never thought of so many of the things Tim had to say about my husband and about cross dressing. It gave me a new outlook and helped me to start new. Tim has a gift and I truly believe he could help so many on your site if they would just talk to him. I worried at first if I had made a mistake emailing him. It didn't take long to know I found someone to help me.

Dee…

The first time I spoke with Tim, I confess I was perplexed, curious yet very interested in his approach to working with CDW. I quickly discovered he starts with the CDW (listening, understanding and caring). Then he often includes the CDH. The results are amazing. Not all couples will survive this-but either way-CDW should seek therapy. Despite the fact Tim is not a therapist-he nonetheless has a very unique perspective as well as tools and skills to help CDW and CDH.

Also, please know Tim has worked endlessly for this non-profit, Cross Dressers Wives. He has generously donated so much and as the founder all I can say is, Thank you Tim, you are a Gem and we cherish you!

*(Please not that the aforementioned are the opinions of the cross dressers wives who generously shared their thoughts).

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Updates:

We are ½ way to our goal for our necessary questionnaire. Please know it is anonymous and the only way society is going to learn about us and what happens to CDW is by filling out the survey-you are the world’s experts. This questionnaire will be published as a direct result from all of your trailblazing responses.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

 Inspirational Quote:

“Give up one activity that blocks you from getting on with the joy of living.”(100 Ways to Keep Your Soul Alive by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat pg.44)

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Happy Father’s Day! This is my first Father’s Day without my beloved father, Joseph.  For all of you who are fortunate to have your fathers, cherish them. For those whose Fathers have passed, God bless them all!

Blessings & Gratitude,

Dee

Cross Dresser's Wives May Newsletter 2012

Topic for the Month: Tim, our cross dresser family adviser, has some advice!

 Tim gives us something to thing about ...

 Over the passed two decades, I have kept an open mind as to why men cross dress. We all need to keep up with new ideas and maybe someday we will know the answer. I think when wives, mothers or girlfriends don't except that we don't know the reasns why a man would cross dress, we become confused and lost. What we should be working on is what to do now that we know.The mind of a cross dresser is complex and there are so many types  of cross dresses. It would be more constructive for all parties to work on what you can do now that you know your husband/partner/son is a cross dresser.

 The rebuilding of trust and communication are key to coming to a sound plan to deal with all the negative feelings from both parties. Coming out of the closet has a different meaning with many cross dressers. In the gay community, it means out to all, most of the time. To cross dressers it is often, he is coming out to you and then brings you into the closet with him. A place you don't want to be. Why do you stay? There are many reasons , such as your love for your children etc.

 When your are brought in the closet, most cross dressers are themselves confused and often do not know what the next step should be . Trouble starts right there because both of you are too close to this situation. This web site, crossdresserwives.com, is a good place to start building a much needed support system. However, it's only the beginning. You need to talk to someone that knows about this very complex condition,  such as a counselor, psychiatrist, therapist or Dee A Levy (aka The Founder of CDW) . Please find someone to help you to find ways to deal with every aspect of this. Every case Is different and you need to get specific with each case. It can be manageable and your life can get better -no matter if you stay or go. I encourage all of you to find someone to help. We are always here for you. 

Happy Mother's Day to all of you!
Tim

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 Happy Mother's Day!!!

 May your children know how blessed they are to have you as their mother. And may you know how blessed you are to be a mother! It is the hardest job in the world-bar none! Celebrate your day. Love yourself and your mother!!!

Blessings,
Dee

 ___________________________________________________


 HOTLINE

 Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with thousands of cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife.

 Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes are free.

 HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS “

You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”

 "I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."

 "The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."

 "The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."

 "After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers’ wives - the Founder is."

 ___________________________________________________

 DONATIONS & VOLUNTEERS We are a charitable, non for profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely almost solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support. Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.

 For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Credit card donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’ 

___________________________________________________


 Quote For The Month: Indulge Yourself

 Pleasing yourself with special treats from time to time is vital to a healthy, satisfying life...We need to surround ourselves with little rewards that mean something to us, that we can keep separate. Whether it be a sip of wine, a shopping spree, a well deserved vacation, a vigorous laugh, or a satisfying cry-such small indulgences can brighten and enliven our lives.

 Robert Ornstein & David Sobel ( 100 Ways to Keep Your Soul Alive pg. 74).

CROSS DRESSERS WIVES APRIL 2012 NEWSLETTER

TOPIC FOR THE MONTH –
CATEGORIES OF CROSS DRESSING….

Most sex and gender researchers recognize that there is great variation among cross dressers. Four major categories of cross dressers are often cited:

1. Fetishist – The fetishist is typically a heterosexual man who derives sexual arousal by handling or wearing a physical object. In the case of the cross dressing fetishist, sexually arousal stems from wearing one or more items of women’s clothing. Panties and high-heeled shoes are popular. This behavior usually begins in early adolescence. The typical fetishist may have fantasies of “being a woman” but most make little effort to actually appear female. It is rare for the fetishist to go out in public cross dressed.

* As fetishism is strongly associated with secretive masturbation, the fetishist cross dresser’s wife may have little or no knowledge of what’s going on.

2. Cross Dressers - These heterosexual men have an attraction to and acquire or gain access to women’s clothing, wigs, and makeup. This behavior develops when men are still boys and is most often associated with strong feelings of excitement, pleasure, and even feminine gender identity. Often, deep shame is associated with this behavior and many cross dressers strive to conceal it. Some cross dress only when away from home, or in another city. For some, there is an intense desire to go out in public while cross dressed and get reactions from others. A small percentage of cross dressers develop an intense conviction that they are “women,” and subsequently insist on living entirely as a woman. Females may also cross dress but their motivations for dressing in men’s clothing have historically been different. For example, women have dressed as men so that they could pursue better careers, gain an education, fight in wars, vote, etc.

* Most of the cross dressers’ wives that we have surveyed prefer not to share sexual activities with a cross dressed husband, despite his requests for this.

3. Transsexuals – Many female and male transsexuals experience an intense belief that they must live their lives in the gender opposite their genetic sex. If they believe this, it is proper to refer to them as transsexual, regardless of whether any surgical procedures have taken place. Their gender role behavior is what counts. The surgical options for both the female and male transsexuals vary, but taking prescribed opposite sex hormones over many years usually precedes procedures. Genetic males may develop breasts while genetic females grow facial hair and have a lowering of the voice. Most transsexual females who become males have a lesbian history. In genetic males, the sexual history may be either heterosexual or homosexual.

* A small percentage of spouses remain married to transsexuals, but most often the transition ultimately leads to the dissolution of a marriage.

4. Drag Queens - These individuals are invariably homosexual males who dress in flamboyant, attention-grabbing fashion as a form of creative expression. Many drag queens perform as entertainers. Usually they do not experience the same intense feelings as described by fetishists, transsexuals, and cross dressers.

All of these cross dressing variations are referred to as transgender behaviors. Other variations exist which are not discussed here. Cross Dressers Wives continues to seek detailed information about the complex world of cross dressing, as evidenced by our comprehensive new Questionnaire II. We hope that cross dressers’ wives from around the globe will take the time to fill out this vital questionnaire. After all, you are the experts!

With Blessings & Gratitude,
Dee & Friends


HOTLINE

Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with thousands of cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife.

Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes are free.

HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS

“You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”

"I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."

"The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."

"The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."

"After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers’ wives - the Founder is."


DONATIONS & VOLUNTEERS

We are a charitable, non for profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely almost solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support. Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.

For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Credit card donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’
______________________________________________________________________

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE OF THE MONTH

“The next best thing to winning is losing! At least you’ve been in the race.” Believing In Ourselves: The Wisdom of Women, Tullis, pg. 212, 1997.

CROSS DRESSERS WIVES MARCH 2012 NEWSLETTER

TOPIC FOR THE MONTH – OUR GROWING FAMILY

Dear Ladies,

I am pleased to announce that our non for profit, Cross Dressers Wives, is growing. Our new family member Tim is an advisor to families that include a cross dresser. One of the cd wives from the Forum raved about Tim, her adviser, so I spent many hours talking with him and quickly realized he has his own methods and ideologies. Although he does not hold any degrees or licenses, Tim has spent forty years studying cross dressing and working with cross dressers, cross dressers’ wives, and family members. His goals are simple: to help cross dressers, cross dressers’ wives, and their families create tools and develop skills to find inner strength and happiness.

Blessings & Gratitude To All,
Dee

& NOW A WORD FROM TIM…

I want to thank Dee A. Levy for the opportunity to address the wives of the non for profit website, crossdresserswives.com. Despite the fact that I do not hold a degree, or a license, I have nonetheless spent forty years studying cross dressers, their wives, and loved ones. My learning experiences about cross dressing started differently than most. My uncle, who was like a second father to me, was a cross dresser. I found out by catching him. No one in the family knew except for my aunt, who had kept his secret, which became her secret. She told my uncle that if someone found out, their marriage was over. He tried to explain it to me but like many cross dressers, he understood little about this condition. Being a young kid of sixteen, I wanted to find the magic cure but I quickly learned there was no cure. I continued to study at all the local libraries. We lived near a college and there was a little more information available to me but still, so many questions were left unanswered.

One night at the dinner table, my mother and grandparents were talking about my aunt and how she was a different person, that something was troubling her. My aunt would not discuss what was troubling her with anyone. No one knew anything, but I did. That is how I started to help cross dressers’ wives and their families. I wanted to find a way to help my aunt.

There was nothing. Not one article on the partners or families of cross dressers. I was not giving up. I tried to think of something that was close to what a person would feel like in other types of problem situations. Studying victims of rape, incest, and molestation gave me some perspective. After a few years of studying both cross dressing and victims, I took a psychology course to buttress my knowledge of cross dressing. This gave me the opportunity to talk with my aunt about my studies. After a couple months of sharing what I was learning, she confided in me about my uncle. It was a time of tears and so much pain for her to share. I told her I would do everything I could to help both of them. I really didn't know how but I did have some ideas that I thought would help. I spent the next four months trying different things to help her. My hope was to bring her back to the person she used to be. Once my aunt was back to being the woman we all remembered, we both approached my uncle. At first he was frightened and scared to death. We assured him we were there for him and wanted to help him understand. Another six months and we had his cross dressing under control. He was a different person.

Many of you talk about the up times, the down times, and the mood swings. These mood changes are all part of the guilt as well as fear. Most cross dressers don't know why they can't control their urges. Some of the addictions and fetishes stem from this not knowing, from a lack of self-understanding and awareness. In my experiences with all kinds of cross dressers, I have discovered that there are ways to help couples come to a common understanding and control the behavior. I don't promise a cure or a quick fix. Fortunately, everyone I have worked with has walked away with a better knowledge and understanding of their partners and themselves.

It is my hope for all of you that you find enough information to make an informed decision on how to make your life as full as possible. You are not alone. If anyone wishes to speak with me, please email Dee at cdwives@gmail.com. Additionally, I am making the same consultation offer as Dee. The first fifteen minutes are free. The fee for an hour is $50. I will also donate to the non for profit, Cross Dressers Wives, as part of my fee. This site is a blessing to all and as it grows, I see so many wives being helped.

I want to thank you and wish all of you the best. My heart goes out to all of you in your time of need.

Tim


HOTLINE

Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with thousands of cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife.

Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting thecdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes are free.

HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS

"I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."

"The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."

"The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."

“You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”

"After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers’ wives - the Founder is."


DONATIONS & VOLUNTEERS

We are a charitable, non for profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely almost solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support. Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.

For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Credit card donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’
______________________________________________________________________

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE

"The soul stretches itself through risk, renewal, and travel. Don't be afraid; be adventurous."

100 Ways To Keep Your Soul Alive, by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat, pg. xii.

CROSS DRESSERS WIVES FEBRUARY 2012 NEWSLETTER TOPIC FOR THE MONTH

New CDW Questionnaire

Happy Valentine’s Day to all! Remember to love yourself. Self-care is required for living your best, most authentic life.

Our website www.crossdresserswives.com and The Forum are growing exponentially, with new wives from all over the globe discovering our safe haven every day. We are expanding and breaking fresh ground. Since the inception of Cross Dressers Wives, thousands of questionnaires have been collected and examined. (There is a link on the Home Page for the Questionnaire.) Many of you have already taken the time to fill one out, providing CDW an opportunity to utilize your input. Thank you!

Currently, CDW is collaborating with a brilliant clinical psychologist who is also a retired professor. Together, we are in the process of constructing a new, more informative questionnaire. However, we cannot accomplish this significant project without some invaluable information from the silent experts on cross dressers’ wives: YOU! Please review our current Questionnaire while asking yourselves…

What questions or concerns do I have that are not addressed?
Hearing the stories of other cross dressers’ wives, what would I like to learn more about?
What if anything should be deleted from the questionnaire?

There is so little research on cross dressers’ wives. As a group, we can contribute significant information that will help lessen the impact this taboo issue can exert on this experiment that we call our lives. Cross Dressers Wives believes that your much needed cooperation and willingness to create a new improved questionnaire will ultimately help other cross dressers’ wives worldwide. There can be many benefits and responsibilities resulting from a website that receives 2 ½ million hits a year.

Our new book, The Cross Dresser’s Wife * Our Secret Lives, is already beginning to enlighten others both within our secretive world and beyond its immediate reach. Our additional research - funded by your generous donations and the book’s sales - will provide essential, singular information that scientists have yet to observe because the cross dresser’s wife usually doesn’t tell. When honesty, respect, and enlightenment grow, things change for the better. Each one of us has the power to make a difference.

We look forward to hearing from you. Your voices will be heard!!!

Blessings & Gratitude,
Dee (AKA The Founder)


HOTLINE

Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife.

Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes are free.

HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS

"The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."

"The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."

“You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”

"After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers wives - the Founder is."

"I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."


DONATIONS & VOLUNTEERS

We are a charitable, non-profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely almost solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support. Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.

For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Credit card donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’
______________________________________________________________________

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE

“There is a part of me that I didn’t even know I had until recently - instinct, intuition, whatever. It helps me and protects me. Its perception is astute. I listen to the inside of me and I know what to do.”
Inez, 33 year-old mother of three
Women’s Ways of Knowing: The Development of Self, Voice, and Mind (1986)
Mary Belenky, Blythe Clinchy, Nancy Goldberger & Jill Tarule (pg. 54.)