Cross Dressers Wives September Newsletter 2013

Topic for the Month: Everything Happens For A Reason. Everything.

 

Dee’s Corner…

 

Welcome! Hope you are all taking good care of yourselves. Find time everyday to love you. Take a long bath, read a great book, do yoga, take a walk, do something you enjoy. It is vital for you.

 

On another note, things are moving very quickly-and please know I have reason to believe we have a GREAT chance of having a show about our real lives on air in a matter of months! This is our chance to open up and tell the truth about our lives (good, bad and everything in between). Anyone who is interested-please get hold of me a.s.a.p. at cdwives@gmail.com.

 

Ladies, for years so many producers have approached us, TV companies, networks etc. to come out and tell our stories. I have stayed away from anyone who I thought might want to exploit us. Finally highly credible phenomenal award winning producers came into my life; we are working diligently to find other CDW wives/partners and CDH/partner to come out and share their stories-without showing their ‘true’ identity. So many women have said, “I want to tell my story.”

 

Ladies…everything happens for a reason. Did you choose to marry/live with a cross dresser? 70% of you did not get the choice. So many of us ask, Why Me? Because everything happens for a reason.

 

Maybe your reason was to become stronger. And perhaps by telling your story you can heal, as you help others by disclosing your secret and letting other cross dressers wives know they are no longer alone. You can use your life to make a positive difference all over the globe.

 

We are trailblazers…not victims!

Blessings,

Dee

 

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Tim’s Corner…

 

He has been working so many hours with couples-so far all the couples (I think with one exception) he has worked with are all still together, setting boundaries, and working on saving their relationships. Thank you so much for being there for us!

 

Tim sends his best wishes out to all! And we send our gratitude to Tim!

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Dorothy Hayden’s Corner…

 

Why CD's Are So Attracted to She/Male Pornography? 

 

•   The fantasy of being a beautiful woman is what drives all CD behavior. Dressing is one way of achieving that. Another is the fantasy (or actuality) of being penetrated like a woman is penetrated.

•   A she/male (the politically correct term is “T-girl”) brings together the disparate parts of the CD's personality, the CD being a person with a personality divided.

•   The CD has a need to disavow what's known to be true; that there are differences in males and females. Connection to an unreal vision fortifies that disavowal.

•   The CD identifies clothing as a primary turn-on and seeks the penis as a way to concretize his desire to experience what women experience. He does not identify with the person of the T-girl as a turn-on, and therefore is not a homosexual. A gay man doesn't want a man who dresses like a woman; he wants a total man.

•   The T-girl's penis is a symbol of the father's masculinity, which may have been denied to the CD.

•   The sexual excitement of “forbidden fruit” transforms unwanted feelings.

•   To the CD, the T-girl is a god-like being – expansive, alive, excited and exciting, beautiful, desirable, spellbinding, powerful, compelling and unforgettable. To be desired by such an idealized illusion relieves feelings of being depleted and enfeebled in his masculine identity.

 

 

Dorothy Hayden, LCSW

New York Center for Sex Addiction Therapy

www.sextreatment.com

 

Everyone who has contacted Dorothy has raved about her and her outstanding knowledge of cross dressers& sex addiction. We are blessed to have her share her wisdom with us. Remember-she offers a 30-minute free consultation!!! Thank You

Dorothy!

 

 

Questionnaire II UPDATE 

 

Over the past year nearly 300 wives of cross dressers have completed this survey, 

making it the largest group ever to participate in a wives study of this kind. Thanks 

to each of you! If you have not responded to Questionnaire II please do so, and be sure to respond to all of the questions. We are starting to analyze the survey data and the results will be made available on this web site. 

 

Additionally, a more formal report will be submitted to one of the scientific journals concerned with transgender studies, such as the International Journal of Transgenderism or the Archives of Sexual Behavior. The main focus of additional research will involve asking wives in more detail about how they are coping 

with cross dressing. Of course, we'll be inviting each of you to join us in these on-going research projects. 

 

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HOTLINE   Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services 

with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, 

and has worked with thousands of cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not 

a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife. 

 

Additionally, Dee A Levy also consults with many cross dressers- most seeking advice on how to disclose their secret to their clueless wives.  Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com.

 

 The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 30 minutes are free.  

 

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 HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS 

 

“I have been in counseling for years and things only got worse. After talking to Dee, I realized she could help me because she understood the problem and my challenges. Thank you Dee.”

 

“When I read the book with my cross dressing husband, we both cried! It was so helpful to first read the book- then consult with Dee” “ understood how much my 

husbands CD hurt me so much. I was relieved.”

 

 “You are the only person I trust” “My therapist does not understand me but your Forum does”  "You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”  "I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone

 

 I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."  "The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."  

 

"The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent 

in therapy." 

 

 "After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers’ wives - the Founder is."  

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 DONATIONS; VOLUNTEER We are a charitable, non-for profit organization. 

All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely almost solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. 

Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support.  

 

Please visit our links to purchase our book via PayPal only, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance.  Many of us have lived incomplete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone.  

 

There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.  For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ Or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Credit card donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’

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Inspirational Quote of the Month…

 

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

 

Maya Angelou