Topic for the month: Female Cross Dressers
So many people associate cross-dressing solely with men. It is important to acknowledge that many scientists uphold transvestites can be men or women. However, it is much more noticeable to see a man dressed up in woman’s clothing and realize he is either a transvestite, transgender or transsexual, but it is not as noticeable for a woman.
Many women wear lots of men’s clothing styles; such as masculine jeans, bulky sweatshirts, flannel shirts, work boots, and even business suits. The difference is, some societies do not place the same stigma on women for wearing men’s clothes, in or out of the bedroom.
It is interesting to note, The DSM-III-R (the bible for psychologists and psychiatrists) in the past have not included women as transvestites. Some social scientists argue that women who wear men’s clothing cannot be considered transvestites because they do not have sexual or erotic feelings while dressing in men’s clothes. However, other scientists will argue that there are women cross dressers and that some of them do claim to find cross-dressing sexually pleasurable. Some women cross dressers have claimed that simply dressing in a man’s suit results in immediate sexual gratification (Cross Dressings, Sex, And Gender by Vern L. and Bonnie Bullough pgs. 302-303).
This is another demonstrative case in point where social scientists are not all in agreement with the multifaceted issues of cross-dressing. Is it any wonder why so many cross dressers wives are confused!?
Blessings,
The Founder
______________________________________________
FREE PHONE CONSULTATION
We are offering a free 15-minute phone consultation. In April we began our Consultation Services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers wives. She is not a licensed therapist, however, she is a former cross dressers wife. Please book your free 15-minute phone consultation by contacting us at cdwives@gmail.com. Our basic fee is $50 an hour.
______________________________________________
Donations and Volunteers
We are a charitable, nonprofit organization. All donations are tax deductible. We rely solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. During these difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand and help those in need. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop outreach programs for worldwide cross dressers wives who seek assistance and support. Please visit our links to make a contribution or volunteer your services to help us assist these women who are in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial and guilt. This has not come without enormous consequences. It is comforting to know that we are not alone! There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. Any contributions will be greatly appreciated. Only other cross dressers wives have ever walked in our, "high heels" (except for many of our cross dressing husbands). A sense of humor may often be essential for our survival.
______________________________________________
Book Update
Our book, about our Lives As Cross Dressers Wives, is currently being edited. We have two new foreign stories. Please know anyone interested in submitting her story may contact us at cdwives@gmail.com. All of our stories are anonymous and all participants will receive compensation for their five to twenty-five page story. Please note; we are not seeking writers per say, just your story to enlighten others about the experiences of some cross dressers wives.
______________________________________________
Inspirational Quote
“All the answers to all the questions you are ever going to ask are right here within you. Every time you say, ‘I don’t know,’ you shut the door to your own wisdom.”
(Taken from Louise Hay’s, Heart Thoughts: A Treasury of Inner Wisdom, page 78.)
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Cross Dressers Wives July Newsletter 2010
Topic of the Month: His Lingerie
As many of you have stated on the forum and in our survey, it is highly common for many cross dressers to wear silky feminine clothes and or lingerie.
In the book, 7 Secrets, by Lacy Leigh, she addresses the issue of the bedroom trap (pg.118). In essence the aforementioned acknowledges that if your encounters with your cross dressing husband is virtually only in the bedroom and he is wearing lingerie, it is very common for the wife/partner to assume cross dressing is all about sex. However, it is much more complicated than that.
According to many hundreds of our forum posts and to our surveys, some cross dressers only ‘dress up’ the bedroom. In fact, our uncontrolled and random sample survey indicates the following:
15% of cross dressing husbands only dress in lingerie while in the bedroom.
10% do not dress in lingerie according to their wives/partners.
25% of cross dressers wives chose not to answer this question.
50% answered that sometimes their husbands dress in lingerie in the bedroom.
Many cross dressers claim they just love the feel of silk on them. However, so many of our stories indicate that even when we purchase silk men’s underwear for them, they choose not to wear it. Logic would dictate that it is not SILK that drives them to wear silky lingerie.
Social scientists are still debating why this occurs. All we know for sure is that some cross dressers only dress in lingerie while in the bedroom. However, that is not to say they are not cross dressing in other pieces of woman’s clothing when we are not present. Perhaps they are wearing lingerie under their everyday clothes.
Lacy Leigh urges cross dressers to disclose this information early on in the relationship. She also suggests to cross dressers not to scare their wives (who do not know yet, or just found out) by cross dressing in front of them. Leigh states, You’ll only reinforce her worst fears if you begin too soon (pg117). For many of us, our worst fears have materialized in the form of silk…
Blessings,
The Founder
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FREE PHONE CONSULTATION
We are offering a free 15-minute phone consultation. In April we began our Consultation Services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers wives. She is not a licensed therapist, however, she is a former cross dressers wife. Please book your free 15-minute phone consultation by contacting us at cdwives@gmail.com. Our basic fee is $50 an hour.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Donations and Volunteers
We are a charitable, nonprofit organization. All donations are tax deductible. We rely solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. During these difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand and help those in need. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop outreach programs for worldwide cross dressers wives who seek assistance and support. Please visit our links to make a contribution or volunteer your services to help us assist these women who are in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial and guilt. This has not come without enormous consequences. It is comforting to know that we are not alone! There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. Any contributions will be greatly appreciated. Only other cross dressers wives have ever walked in our, "high heels" (except for many of our cross dressing husbands). A sense of humor may often be essential for our survival.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Book Update
Our book, Our Lives As Cross Dressers Wives, is currently being edited. Anyone interested in submitting her story may contact us at cdwives@gmail.com. All of our stories are anonymous and all participants will receive compensation for their five to twenty-five page story. Please note; we are not seeking writers per say, just your story to enlighten others about the experiences of some cross dressers wives.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Inspiration Quote
It’s a good thing we have the denial system, because it allows us to cover our wounds and still function. But once we no longer have any wounds or any poisons, we don’t need to lie anymore.” (The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz).
As many of you have stated on the forum and in our survey, it is highly common for many cross dressers to wear silky feminine clothes and or lingerie.
In the book, 7 Secrets, by Lacy Leigh, she addresses the issue of the bedroom trap (pg.118). In essence the aforementioned acknowledges that if your encounters with your cross dressing husband is virtually only in the bedroom and he is wearing lingerie, it is very common for the wife/partner to assume cross dressing is all about sex. However, it is much more complicated than that.
According to many hundreds of our forum posts and to our surveys, some cross dressers only ‘dress up’ the bedroom. In fact, our uncontrolled and random sample survey indicates the following:
15% of cross dressing husbands only dress in lingerie while in the bedroom.
10% do not dress in lingerie according to their wives/partners.
25% of cross dressers wives chose not to answer this question.
50% answered that sometimes their husbands dress in lingerie in the bedroom.
Many cross dressers claim they just love the feel of silk on them. However, so many of our stories indicate that even when we purchase silk men’s underwear for them, they choose not to wear it. Logic would dictate that it is not SILK that drives them to wear silky lingerie.
Social scientists are still debating why this occurs. All we know for sure is that some cross dressers only dress in lingerie while in the bedroom. However, that is not to say they are not cross dressing in other pieces of woman’s clothing when we are not present. Perhaps they are wearing lingerie under their everyday clothes.
Lacy Leigh urges cross dressers to disclose this information early on in the relationship. She also suggests to cross dressers not to scare their wives (who do not know yet, or just found out) by cross dressing in front of them. Leigh states, You’ll only reinforce her worst fears if you begin too soon (pg117). For many of us, our worst fears have materialized in the form of silk…
Blessings,
The Founder
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FREE PHONE CONSULTATION
We are offering a free 15-minute phone consultation. In April we began our Consultation Services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers wives. She is not a licensed therapist, however, she is a former cross dressers wife. Please book your free 15-minute phone consultation by contacting us at cdwives@gmail.com. Our basic fee is $50 an hour.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Donations and Volunteers
We are a charitable, nonprofit organization. All donations are tax deductible. We rely solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. During these difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand and help those in need. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop outreach programs for worldwide cross dressers wives who seek assistance and support. Please visit our links to make a contribution or volunteer your services to help us assist these women who are in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial and guilt. This has not come without enormous consequences. It is comforting to know that we are not alone! There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. Any contributions will be greatly appreciated. Only other cross dressers wives have ever walked in our, "high heels" (except for many of our cross dressing husbands). A sense of humor may often be essential for our survival.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Book Update
Our book, Our Lives As Cross Dressers Wives, is currently being edited. Anyone interested in submitting her story may contact us at cdwives@gmail.com. All of our stories are anonymous and all participants will receive compensation for their five to twenty-five page story. Please note; we are not seeking writers per say, just your story to enlighten others about the experiences of some cross dressers wives.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Inspiration Quote
It’s a good thing we have the denial system, because it allows us to cover our wounds and still function. But once we no longer have any wounds or any poisons, we don’t need to lie anymore.” (The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz).
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Cross Dressers Wives June Newsletter 2010
Topic of the Month: Our Health
Welcome to all participants of our Forum and website. Many have expressed problems and concerns regarding their general well-being, as well as their physical and emotional health.
We have examined the survey results of an informal randomly selected sample of fifty cross dresser wives. Here are the results:
1) 36% indicated they are experiencing suicidal thoughts.
2) 47% are currently taking anti-depressants, anti-anxiety and/ or sleeping medication.
3) 73% have never been on these types of medication prior to being exposed to their cross dressing partners.
4) 57% are presently undergoing psychotherapy due to these circumstances. (Many other women have indicated that they would seek therapy if it were affordable to them.)
It is vital to understand that this was not a controlled, scientific study. However, it is relevant to note that there appears to be a direct correlation between cross dressers wives and these maladies. Find comfort in knowing you are not alone if you are encountering these aforementioned conditions.
On a less formal note, in my many years of study on this topic, I have found some of these other symptoms to be typical: alcoholism, drug addiction, erratic behavior, lack of energy, depression, anxiety, and many other negative symptoms.
Here are some helpful tips that may benefit your health and well-being:
1) Build a support team (friends, close family members, religious or spiritual leader.)
2) Seek counseling.
3) Exercise increases your endorphins (yoga, Pilates, walking, bike riding, and swimming, etc.)
4) Meditation.
5) Eat healthy foods and drink plenty of water.
6) Journal or read a good uplifting book.
7) Try to get twenty minutes of sunshine daily (increases endorphins, vitamin D, and combats insomnia.)
8) Open your shades and try to get outside everyday (maintain good grooming and personal hygiene.)
9) Pray if so inclined.
10) Befriend and communicate with another cross dressers wife from this Forum.
Remember to LOVE yourself!
FREE PHONE CONSULTATION
We are offering a free 15-minute phone consultation. In April we began our Consultation Services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers wives. She is not a licensed therapist, however, she is a former cross dressers wife. Please book your free 15-minute phone consultation by contacting us at cdwives@gmail.com. Our basic fee is $50 an hour.
Donations and Volunteers
We are a charitable, nonprofit organization. All donations are tax deductible. We rely solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. During these difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand and help those in need. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop outreach programs for worldwide cross dressers wives who seek assistance and support. Please visit our links to make a contribution or volunteer your services to help us assist these women who are in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial and guilt. This has not come without enormous consequences. It is comforting to know that we are not alone! There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. Any contributions will be greatly appreciated. Only other cross dressers wives have ever walked in our, "high heels" (except for many of our cross dressing husbands). A sense of humor may often be essential for our survival.
Book Update
Our book, Our Lives As Cross Dressers Wives, is currently being edited. Anyone interested in submitting her story may contact us at cdwives@gmail.com. All of our stories are anonymous and all participants will receive compensation for their five to twenty-five page story. Please note; we are not seeking writers per say, just your story to enlighten others about the experiences of some cross dressers wives.
Inspirational Quote
“Write down any positive feedback you’ve ever gotten, from other people or from circumstances. Put copies of this feedback list everywhere, and read it often” (Finding Your Own North Star authored by Martha Beck).
Welcome to all participants of our Forum and website. Many have expressed problems and concerns regarding their general well-being, as well as their physical and emotional health.
We have examined the survey results of an informal randomly selected sample of fifty cross dresser wives. Here are the results:
1) 36% indicated they are experiencing suicidal thoughts.
2) 47% are currently taking anti-depressants, anti-anxiety and/ or sleeping medication.
3) 73% have never been on these types of medication prior to being exposed to their cross dressing partners.
4) 57% are presently undergoing psychotherapy due to these circumstances. (Many other women have indicated that they would seek therapy if it were affordable to them.)
It is vital to understand that this was not a controlled, scientific study. However, it is relevant to note that there appears to be a direct correlation between cross dressers wives and these maladies. Find comfort in knowing you are not alone if you are encountering these aforementioned conditions.
On a less formal note, in my many years of study on this topic, I have found some of these other symptoms to be typical: alcoholism, drug addiction, erratic behavior, lack of energy, depression, anxiety, and many other negative symptoms.
Here are some helpful tips that may benefit your health and well-being:
1) Build a support team (friends, close family members, religious or spiritual leader.)
2) Seek counseling.
3) Exercise increases your endorphins (yoga, Pilates, walking, bike riding, and swimming, etc.)
4) Meditation.
5) Eat healthy foods and drink plenty of water.
6) Journal or read a good uplifting book.
7) Try to get twenty minutes of sunshine daily (increases endorphins, vitamin D, and combats insomnia.)
8) Open your shades and try to get outside everyday (maintain good grooming and personal hygiene.)
9) Pray if so inclined.
10) Befriend and communicate with another cross dressers wife from this Forum.
Remember to LOVE yourself!
FREE PHONE CONSULTATION
We are offering a free 15-minute phone consultation. In April we began our Consultation Services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers wives. She is not a licensed therapist, however, she is a former cross dressers wife. Please book your free 15-minute phone consultation by contacting us at cdwives@gmail.com. Our basic fee is $50 an hour.
Donations and Volunteers
We are a charitable, nonprofit organization. All donations are tax deductible. We rely solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. During these difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand and help those in need. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop outreach programs for worldwide cross dressers wives who seek assistance and support. Please visit our links to make a contribution or volunteer your services to help us assist these women who are in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial and guilt. This has not come without enormous consequences. It is comforting to know that we are not alone! There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. Any contributions will be greatly appreciated. Only other cross dressers wives have ever walked in our, "high heels" (except for many of our cross dressing husbands). A sense of humor may often be essential for our survival.
Book Update
Our book, Our Lives As Cross Dressers Wives, is currently being edited. Anyone interested in submitting her story may contact us at cdwives@gmail.com. All of our stories are anonymous and all participants will receive compensation for their five to twenty-five page story. Please note; we are not seeking writers per say, just your story to enlighten others about the experiences of some cross dressers wives.
Inspirational Quote
“Write down any positive feedback you’ve ever gotten, from other people or from circumstances. Put copies of this feedback list everywhere, and read it often” (Finding Your Own North Star authored by Martha Beck).
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Cross Dressers Wives May Newsletter 2010
Topic Of The Month: Take advantage of our May only Free 15 minute phone consultation.
For the month of May we are offering a free 15-minute phone consultation. Last month we began our consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, a M.A. in Social Sciences and has worked with over a thousand cross dressers wives. She is not a licensed therapist, however, she is a former cross dressers wife. Please book your free 15-minute phone consultation by contacting us at cdwives@gmail.com. Our basic fee is $50 an hour.
____________________
Donations and Volunteers
We are a charitable, nonprofit organization. All donations are tax deductible. We rely solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. During these difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand and help those in need. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop outreach programs for worldwide cross dressers wives who seek assistance and support. Please visit our links to make a contribution or volunteer your services to help us assist these women who are in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial and guilt. This has not come without enormous consequences. It is comforting to know that we are not alone! There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. Any contributions will be greatly appreciated. Only other cross dressers wives have ever walked in our, "high heels" (except for many of our cross dressing husbands). A sense of humor may often be essential for our survival.
____________________
Book Update
Our book, Our Lives As Cross Dressers Wives, is currently being edited. Anyone interested in submitting her story may contact us at cdwives@gmail.com. All of our stories are anonymous and all participants will receive compensation for their five to twenty-five page story. Please note; we are not seeking writers per say, just your story to enlighten others about the experiences of some cross dressers wives.
Inspirational Quote
“I know I am strengthened as I seek to make truth my personal reality” (Your Sacred Self by Wayne Dyer, page 222).
For the month of May we are offering a free 15-minute phone consultation. Last month we began our consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, a M.A. in Social Sciences and has worked with over a thousand cross dressers wives. She is not a licensed therapist, however, she is a former cross dressers wife. Please book your free 15-minute phone consultation by contacting us at cdwives@gmail.com. Our basic fee is $50 an hour.
____________________
Donations and Volunteers
We are a charitable, nonprofit organization. All donations are tax deductible. We rely solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. During these difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand and help those in need. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop outreach programs for worldwide cross dressers wives who seek assistance and support. Please visit our links to make a contribution or volunteer your services to help us assist these women who are in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial and guilt. This has not come without enormous consequences. It is comforting to know that we are not alone! There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. Any contributions will be greatly appreciated. Only other cross dressers wives have ever walked in our, "high heels" (except for many of our cross dressing husbands). A sense of humor may often be essential for our survival.
____________________
Book Update
Our book, Our Lives As Cross Dressers Wives, is currently being edited. Anyone interested in submitting her story may contact us at cdwives@gmail.com. All of our stories are anonymous and all participants will receive compensation for their five to twenty-five page story. Please note; we are not seeking writers per say, just your story to enlighten others about the experiences of some cross dressers wives.
Inspirational Quote
“I know I am strengthened as I seek to make truth my personal reality” (Your Sacred Self by Wayne Dyer, page 222).
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Cross Dressers Wives April Newsletter 2010
Topic Of The Month: Spring is time for renewal.
Many of us are struggling with ways to renew ourselves. Now is the perfect time!
What do we have in our power in order to change our lives? We hold the key by accepting the fact that being married to a cross dresser is no easy task. For many of us however, it is a multi-task learning process. The journey of acceptance begins by coming to terms with the fact that we do not possess the power to change our cross dressing spouses/partners. We only have the power to change ourselves, no easy task. This precious knowledge can lead to a sense of peace and serenity. Take this power, refocus your energies each day and change your life one step at a time.
Spring is a great time to focus on self-renewal. A part of our new beginning in the renewal process comes from accepting what has been lost in many of our relationships and to discover ways to bring about new life skills for self-renewal. This is our time to blossom but we need to make sure we have sufficient water, food, sun and TLC to do so! The key is to be good and kind to ourselves and the rest will begin to fall into place.
Blessings,
The Founder
________________________________________________________________
Donations and Volunteers
We are a charitable, nonprofit organization. All donations are tax deductible. We rely solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. During these difficult financial times funds are short, limiting our ability to expand. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop outreach programs for worldwide cross dressers wives who are in need of assistance and support. Please visit our links to make a contribution or to volunteer your services in order to help us assist these women who are in dire need of; support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial and guilt. This has not come without enormous struggles, pain, confusion and sometimes severe consequences. For most of us, it is comforting to know that we are not alone! There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. Any contributions will be greatly appreciated. Only other cross dressers wives have ever walked in our, "high heels" (except for many of our cross dressing husbands). A sense of humor may often be essential for our survival. ________________________________________________________________
New Consultation Link
We are elated to announce a new service and outreach program for those wives who are in need of one-on-one telephone support. The Founder is not a licensed therapist, though holds a degree in Women’s Studies and has earned a M.A. in Social Sciences. Additionally, she has worked with literally thousands of cross dressers wives for years. This service is now available for $50 an hour by appointment only. Please contact The Founder at cdwives@gmail.com for an appointment or more information.
________________________________________________________________
Inspirational Quote
“ When you always do your best, you take action”. ( The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz).
________________________________________________________________
Inspirational Books
Transitions by William Bridges
Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck
Many of us are struggling with ways to renew ourselves. Now is the perfect time!
What do we have in our power in order to change our lives? We hold the key by accepting the fact that being married to a cross dresser is no easy task. For many of us however, it is a multi-task learning process. The journey of acceptance begins by coming to terms with the fact that we do not possess the power to change our cross dressing spouses/partners. We only have the power to change ourselves, no easy task. This precious knowledge can lead to a sense of peace and serenity. Take this power, refocus your energies each day and change your life one step at a time.
Spring is a great time to focus on self-renewal. A part of our new beginning in the renewal process comes from accepting what has been lost in many of our relationships and to discover ways to bring about new life skills for self-renewal. This is our time to blossom but we need to make sure we have sufficient water, food, sun and TLC to do so! The key is to be good and kind to ourselves and the rest will begin to fall into place.
Blessings,
The Founder
________________________________________________________________
Donations and Volunteers
We are a charitable, nonprofit organization. All donations are tax deductible. We rely solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. During these difficult financial times funds are short, limiting our ability to expand. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop outreach programs for worldwide cross dressers wives who are in need of assistance and support. Please visit our links to make a contribution or to volunteer your services in order to help us assist these women who are in dire need of; support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial and guilt. This has not come without enormous struggles, pain, confusion and sometimes severe consequences. For most of us, it is comforting to know that we are not alone! There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. Any contributions will be greatly appreciated. Only other cross dressers wives have ever walked in our, "high heels" (except for many of our cross dressing husbands). A sense of humor may often be essential for our survival. ________________________________________________________________
New Consultation Link
We are elated to announce a new service and outreach program for those wives who are in need of one-on-one telephone support. The Founder is not a licensed therapist, though holds a degree in Women’s Studies and has earned a M.A. in Social Sciences. Additionally, she has worked with literally thousands of cross dressers wives for years. This service is now available for $50 an hour by appointment only. Please contact The Founder at cdwives@gmail.com for an appointment or more information.
________________________________________________________________
Inspirational Quote
“ When you always do your best, you take action”. ( The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz).
________________________________________________________________
Inspirational Books
Transitions by William Bridges
Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Cross Dressers Wives March Newsletter 2010
Topic for the month: Healing Process
There have been many posts inquiring how to begin the healing process. Some techniques work better for some, but it is to our advantage to experiment on a diversity of healing tools and skills to see which ones help each individual.
According to Dr. Susan Forward’s book, When Your Lover Is a Liar, writing a letter of grief from the standpoint of a fighter-not a victim is the key. She upholds it is vital to take a firm stand with your grief and display your determination to get through it. Some would suggest writing the letter and sharing it with your husband/partner, keep it for yourself, burn it or rip it up. The important element is to release your emotions in a healthy way in order to help you get passed your grief. Dr. Forward also states that adding a bit of humor can also be beneficial (page 135).
Additionally, confrontation can be a positive way to find clarity. Learn to ask for what you need, want, desire and set clear boundaries for a happier and healthy lifestyle. What is best for you is always a personal choice. Nonetheless, healing is a way to begin your new life.
To further enhance your new life, Dr. Jane Greer suggests in her book, How Could You Do This To Me?, there are many lessons to live by. She elaborates on the necessity to identify your true feelings and rebuild your self-esteem by trusting your emotions and your own judgment She purports that by utilizing these fundamental tasks, you will be able to trust again, with your heart and eyes wide open (page 180).
Donations and Volunteers
As a non-for-profit (NPO) charitable tax-deductible organization, we rely solely on contributions and grants to support our much-needed organization. Funds are low and grants during these difficult financial times are limiting our abilities to expand, despite the obvious need to do so. Every dollar can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO to develop outreach programs to worldwide cross dressers wives, who are in need of assistance. Please visit our links to make contributions or to volunteer your services to help us assist those women who are in need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence but not without enormous struggles, pain, confusion and sometimes-severe consequences. For most of us, it is comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States alone, whose needs must be met. Only other cross dressers wives have ever walked in our "high heels" (except for many of our cross dressing husbands). A sense of humor is vital.
New Consultation Link
We are elated to announce this new service and out reach to those wives who are in need of phone support. The Founder is not a therapist, those holds degrees in Women’s Studies and M.A. in Social Sciences. Additionally, she has worked with thousands of cross dressers wives for several years. This service is available now for $50 an hour by appointment only. Please contact the founder at cdwives@gmail.com
Inspirational Quote
“ You were born with the right to be happy. You were born with the right to love, enjoy and to share love. You are alive, so take your life and enjoy it ” by Don Miguel Ruiz from his book, The Four Agreements (page 84).
There have been many posts inquiring how to begin the healing process. Some techniques work better for some, but it is to our advantage to experiment on a diversity of healing tools and skills to see which ones help each individual.
According to Dr. Susan Forward’s book, When Your Lover Is a Liar, writing a letter of grief from the standpoint of a fighter-not a victim is the key. She upholds it is vital to take a firm stand with your grief and display your determination to get through it. Some would suggest writing the letter and sharing it with your husband/partner, keep it for yourself, burn it or rip it up. The important element is to release your emotions in a healthy way in order to help you get passed your grief. Dr. Forward also states that adding a bit of humor can also be beneficial (page 135).
Additionally, confrontation can be a positive way to find clarity. Learn to ask for what you need, want, desire and set clear boundaries for a happier and healthy lifestyle. What is best for you is always a personal choice. Nonetheless, healing is a way to begin your new life.
To further enhance your new life, Dr. Jane Greer suggests in her book, How Could You Do This To Me?, there are many lessons to live by. She elaborates on the necessity to identify your true feelings and rebuild your self-esteem by trusting your emotions and your own judgment She purports that by utilizing these fundamental tasks, you will be able to trust again, with your heart and eyes wide open (page 180).
Donations and Volunteers
As a non-for-profit (NPO) charitable tax-deductible organization, we rely solely on contributions and grants to support our much-needed organization. Funds are low and grants during these difficult financial times are limiting our abilities to expand, despite the obvious need to do so. Every dollar can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO to develop outreach programs to worldwide cross dressers wives, who are in need of assistance. Please visit our links to make contributions or to volunteer your services to help us assist those women who are in need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence but not without enormous struggles, pain, confusion and sometimes-severe consequences. For most of us, it is comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States alone, whose needs must be met. Only other cross dressers wives have ever walked in our "high heels" (except for many of our cross dressing husbands). A sense of humor is vital.
New Consultation Link
We are elated to announce this new service and out reach to those wives who are in need of phone support. The Founder is not a therapist, those holds degrees in Women’s Studies and M.A. in Social Sciences. Additionally, she has worked with thousands of cross dressers wives for several years. This service is available now for $50 an hour by appointment only. Please contact the founder at cdwives@gmail.com
Inspirational Quote
“ You were born with the right to be happy. You were born with the right to love, enjoy and to share love. You are alive, so take your life and enjoy it ” by Don Miguel Ruiz from his book, The Four Agreements (page 84).
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Cross Dressers Wives February's Newsletter 2010
Now That You Have Decided to Leave Him
Hope you and yours are all well. As always we are gearing this months newsletter towards a common theme from our forum. There has been a lot of correspondence from many cross dressers wives who are contemplating leaving their marriages and wondering how to leave. Please note, we are not encouraging anyone (other that someone who is being physically abused) to dissolve their marriage. However, for those who want and need to leave their marriage, we want to support their needs and desires.
Many cross dressers wives have been in a long term holding pattern waiting for the next high heel to drop, others contemplate leaving, some stay with boundaries, some live as roommates while others do end up divorcing their cross dressing husbands.
For those of you who wish to leave and are looking for ways to go on with your lives I would like to share a recent posting on the forum. I had her permission to post her comments in this newsletter. It is just one of many stories that I, like many of you, found it to be significant and helpful to those who want and need to reclaim their lives-without their spouses.
This post is from of our beloved Shelly
Dear How to: It sounds like you are in the same situation as I was in during the last few months of my marriage. Does this sound familiar to you: By the time my H realized that he had pushed me too far, that he was losing control over me, it was simply too late. I told him I was leaving. I had been lied to repeatedly, I had been blamed for not accepting him, I had been manipulated and isolated for yrs. He decided that we should start over, put everything behind us, and live happily ever after. He "stopped" cding. He began doing nice things for me, buying me things, becoming concerned about my welfare after yrs of ignoring and minimizing my feelings. But what was done could not be undone. The trust was gone, replaced by suspicion. The love was gone, replaced by a trapped fear. The sexual attraction was gone, replaced by repulsion. He didn't want to talk about cding or the past. I was "holding grudges" and "being unforgiving" if I brought up my doubts or questioned his honesty. I had so much to lose! I had pre-school children, no job, no higher education, my health was very bad after yrs of escalating stress, and my H had been threatening suicide for yrs if I told anyone. I could not live w/ the pain anymore, could not try - not one more time; I knew that if I allowed him back into my heart, I would not survive another betrayal - one that I knew would come, eventually. For me to get out, I had to make a decision to save myself and my kids, to give up my home and everything that I had invested in, and to face the overwhelming fears and uncertainties that made up my future.
How did I do it? 1) I finally told my family and gratefully received their unfaltering support. 2) I went to a psychologist - against the dictates of my H - and got on anti-anxiety medication to help me cope. 3) I mentally disassociated myself from my H, did not allow myself to make his problems my own - I had enough to worry about! 4) I began reading about abuse and manipulation, as suggested by the psychologist. 5) I did what I could to improve my health so that I could face the future as best I could. I think the hardest part was #3; b/c I had loved my H for over half my life and I didn't want to hurt him. I knew that he was in pain, that I was HURTING him - that was very hard; it is not my nature. I found that this helped: I wrote down specific incidents in which MY pain had been totally ignored and disregarded by my H, the many lies and distortions I had been dealing with, the aggressive blame and shameless twisting of reality that he had used for yrs to control my actions and thoughts. This allowed me to keep clear in my mind what I would not allow in my life. It was a very painful time, but I kept my eyes focused on the light at the end of the tunnel - a light that wasn't there if I didn't leave. I have never regretted it. After I left, when I was packing more of my stuff, I found the stash of women's clothing he had hidden in a new place. My mind, to this day, still tends to empathize w/ him, even after he remarried, yrs later, to yet another woman w/out telling her about his sexuality. It's so sad. It just starts all over again. Hope this helps you. This is such a difficult place to be in. If you need out, I hope you can find a way.
______________________________________________________
New Help line Services
Look for our upcoming new link for our new help line service. We are elated to announce this new service and out reach to those wives who are in need of phone support. The Founder is not a therapist, those holds degrees in woman studies and social sciences. Additionally, she has worked with thousands of cross dressers wives for several years. This service should be available soon for $50 an hour.
___________________________________________
Book Update
We are pleased to announce that our book about our lives as cross dressers wives will be published within the next 3-6months. If you are interested in submitting your story please read November 2009 Newsletter and submit your story by February 15th.
____________________________________________
Donations and Volunteer Positions
As a non-for-profit (NPO) charitable tax-deductible organization, we rely solely on contributions and grants to support our much-needed organization. Funds are low and grants during these difficult financial times are limiting our abilities to expand, despite the obvious need to do so. Every dollar can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO to develop outreach programs to worldwide cross dressers wives, who are in need of assistance. Please visit our links to make contributions or to volunteer your services to help us assist those women who are in need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence but not without enormous struggles, pain, confusion and sometimes-severe consequences. For most of us, it is comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States alone, whose needs must be met. Only other cross dressers wives have ever walked in our "high heels" (except for many of our cross dressing husbands). A sense of humor is vital.
______________________________________________________
Recommended reading:
When Your Lover is a Liar by Dr. Susan Forward
How Could You Do This To Me? Learning To Trust After Betrayal by Dr. Jane Greer
The Liar in Your Life by Robert Feldman
___________________________________________
Inspirational Quote
"I am wise and capable. I am my own best expert, my own authority about what is right for me. I have the courage to listen to my inner wisdom. (From the book, The Woman's Book of Courage by Sue Patton Thoele pg. 137)
______________________________________________________
Happy Valentines Day!!! Remember to love yourself.
Blessings,
The Founder
Hope you and yours are all well. As always we are gearing this months newsletter towards a common theme from our forum. There has been a lot of correspondence from many cross dressers wives who are contemplating leaving their marriages and wondering how to leave. Please note, we are not encouraging anyone (other that someone who is being physically abused) to dissolve their marriage. However, for those who want and need to leave their marriage, we want to support their needs and desires.
Many cross dressers wives have been in a long term holding pattern waiting for the next high heel to drop, others contemplate leaving, some stay with boundaries, some live as roommates while others do end up divorcing their cross dressing husbands.
For those of you who wish to leave and are looking for ways to go on with your lives I would like to share a recent posting on the forum. I had her permission to post her comments in this newsletter. It is just one of many stories that I, like many of you, found it to be significant and helpful to those who want and need to reclaim their lives-without their spouses.
This post is from of our beloved Shelly
Dear How to: It sounds like you are in the same situation as I was in during the last few months of my marriage. Does this sound familiar to you: By the time my H realized that he had pushed me too far, that he was losing control over me, it was simply too late. I told him I was leaving. I had been lied to repeatedly, I had been blamed for not accepting him, I had been manipulated and isolated for yrs. He decided that we should start over, put everything behind us, and live happily ever after. He "stopped" cding. He began doing nice things for me, buying me things, becoming concerned about my welfare after yrs of ignoring and minimizing my feelings. But what was done could not be undone. The trust was gone, replaced by suspicion. The love was gone, replaced by a trapped fear. The sexual attraction was gone, replaced by repulsion. He didn't want to talk about cding or the past. I was "holding grudges" and "being unforgiving" if I brought up my doubts or questioned his honesty. I had so much to lose! I had pre-school children, no job, no higher education, my health was very bad after yrs of escalating stress, and my H had been threatening suicide for yrs if I told anyone. I could not live w/ the pain anymore, could not try - not one more time; I knew that if I allowed him back into my heart, I would not survive another betrayal - one that I knew would come, eventually. For me to get out, I had to make a decision to save myself and my kids, to give up my home and everything that I had invested in, and to face the overwhelming fears and uncertainties that made up my future.
How did I do it? 1) I finally told my family and gratefully received their unfaltering support. 2) I went to a psychologist - against the dictates of my H - and got on anti-anxiety medication to help me cope. 3) I mentally disassociated myself from my H, did not allow myself to make his problems my own - I had enough to worry about! 4) I began reading about abuse and manipulation, as suggested by the psychologist. 5) I did what I could to improve my health so that I could face the future as best I could. I think the hardest part was #3; b/c I had loved my H for over half my life and I didn't want to hurt him. I knew that he was in pain, that I was HURTING him - that was very hard; it is not my nature. I found that this helped: I wrote down specific incidents in which MY pain had been totally ignored and disregarded by my H, the many lies and distortions I had been dealing with, the aggressive blame and shameless twisting of reality that he had used for yrs to control my actions and thoughts. This allowed me to keep clear in my mind what I would not allow in my life. It was a very painful time, but I kept my eyes focused on the light at the end of the tunnel - a light that wasn't there if I didn't leave. I have never regretted it. After I left, when I was packing more of my stuff, I found the stash of women's clothing he had hidden in a new place. My mind, to this day, still tends to empathize w/ him, even after he remarried, yrs later, to yet another woman w/out telling her about his sexuality. It's so sad. It just starts all over again. Hope this helps you. This is such a difficult place to be in. If you need out, I hope you can find a way.
______________________________________________________
New Help line Services
Look for our upcoming new link for our new help line service. We are elated to announce this new service and out reach to those wives who are in need of phone support. The Founder is not a therapist, those holds degrees in woman studies and social sciences. Additionally, she has worked with thousands of cross dressers wives for several years. This service should be available soon for $50 an hour.
___________________________________________
Book Update
We are pleased to announce that our book about our lives as cross dressers wives will be published within the next 3-6months. If you are interested in submitting your story please read November 2009 Newsletter and submit your story by February 15th.
____________________________________________
Donations and Volunteer Positions
As a non-for-profit (NPO) charitable tax-deductible organization, we rely solely on contributions and grants to support our much-needed organization. Funds are low and grants during these difficult financial times are limiting our abilities to expand, despite the obvious need to do so. Every dollar can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO to develop outreach programs to worldwide cross dressers wives, who are in need of assistance. Please visit our links to make contributions or to volunteer your services to help us assist those women who are in need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence but not without enormous struggles, pain, confusion and sometimes-severe consequences. For most of us, it is comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States alone, whose needs must be met. Only other cross dressers wives have ever walked in our "high heels" (except for many of our cross dressing husbands). A sense of humor is vital.
______________________________________________________
Recommended reading:
When Your Lover is a Liar by Dr. Susan Forward
How Could You Do This To Me? Learning To Trust After Betrayal by Dr. Jane Greer
The Liar in Your Life by Robert Feldman
___________________________________________
Inspirational Quote
"I am wise and capable. I am my own best expert, my own authority about what is right for me. I have the courage to listen to my inner wisdom. (From the book, The Woman's Book of Courage by Sue Patton Thoele pg. 137)
______________________________________________________
Happy Valentines Day!!! Remember to love yourself.
Blessings,
The Founder
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