Cross Dressers Wives June 2012 Newsletter

Topic for the month: Gratitude for Tim Our CD Family Advisor

Our non profit, Cross Dresser’s Wives, was contacted by several different cross dressers wives, who wanted to post something special for someone special: Tim. They were all genuinely so grateful to him for helping them and in many cases helping their CD husbands too. Most of these women felt hopeless but listening to Tim gave them tools, skills and hope. Not all marriages will survive-despite Tim’s advice.  However, those that choose to leave need assistance too. So, thank you Tim. This one’s for you…

Lindsay Sarah…

To all of the wives on this site, it is Lindsay Sarah and my prayer for you is to have a full and wonderful life. Being the wife of a cross dresser can be a stressful and miserable life. All of us know our stories are all different in some way. Each of us has dealt with this and has tried to find answers to all the questions. Having to keep this secret is the hardest part. Now we can share our thoughts on this site, which has given us a voice.

I am thankful for that in so many ways.

Even with the help of this site, there are still questions in all of us. The wives who wrote these letters of gratitude for Tim originally took things a step farther and contacted Tim. It was a hard step to take for all of us but we did. What we found was a caring and very understanding man that with his years of experience, explained things to us, things we never could see on our own. Tim gave each of us tools to use to help our husbands and us. It only took each of us a few times talking with him to know we found the help we needed. One of the posts said that they tried to accommodate and except their husband’s cross dressing. That doesn't work. What does work is total understanding. Once you understand your husbands and his cross dressing, it becomes clearer.

Tim's focus was on the wife first and then the husband. Some of you say that your husbands won't talk to anyone about this. I would not have believed it but my husband is talking to Tim and our life is very different! All of the wives that are in this newsletter are now believers and see that life is good. We are doing this in the hope that you will take the step and see that Tim can help you too. We all were helped and we see you all have questions. Tim gave us a better sense of understanding and we know he can give you the same. It doesn't matter if you stay with your husband or you leave. Tim will give you as much information as possible to make an informed decision. Thank you for your time and I wish all of you peace!

Lindsey…

My story is close to Dee's with how my husband came out. He waltzes into our bedroom fully dressed: dress bra with breast and heels and hose. I was so shocked and didn't handle it well. I was close to taking my own life. For days I couldn’t move. I stayed in bed. Husband wasn't any help and I couldn’t tell anyone I was lost. A good friend came and tried but I wasn't talking. She called several counselors all couldn't get me to talk. I didn't trust them. Then she called a female counselor. I did like her and we did talk some the first time. The second time she came I told her what happened it shocked her I think and I thought for sure I was doomed. She told me she didn't know much about gender issues but she knew just the person to help me. That person was Tim. From the first time he came over there was something about him, he talked me out of bed and that was a task in itself. He was so kind and patient with me. His understanding of how I felt was so comforting. His first concern was all me and we spent many hours talking about cross dressing and how we as a team could help my husband and our marriage. That was 20 years ago and we are a couple again. Tim cleared so many things for my husband to see how I felt and how to control his life. He was one not to talk to anyone about his feelings and Tim broke him of that. Now he shares his feelings, we are happy and grateful for Tim’s help. We can never repay him.

Karen…

When I found out my husband was a cross dresser, we were married over 20 years. I ignored it for as long as I could, I guess I thought it would go away. I did research on the net and as all of you know it was bad. Then I found this site. I did a lot of reading back post and came across Lindsay’s post. Being a newcomer I needed to at least email her to see what she had to say about Tim. All I can say to you is this: I thank Lindsey every day. Skipping over my friendship with Lindsey, Tim made so many things about my husband so clear. He showed me things about him I would never have thought of. Things I could do and say to make him see things for him. Tim helped me so I could help my husband. We are still working on this as it takes time to undo 20 years of thinking one way.

Thank you for reading my story.

 Sarah…

I was married several years before my husband told me he was a cross dresser. I thought I could handle it and I did for many years. It was something I put up with and he did not dress in front of me for a long time. Time passed, it was just something l lived with and I grew numb to it. Our marriage was OK but never the same. My husband became ill and things seemed to change. Something about him was different. Before he passed away he told me how sorry he was for all the pain he caused me.  I thought it would all be over. I had a new life, yet I was sad at first because I did love him but I thought all the pain would be gone from the cross dressing. I was wrong.

After many long nights searching the net, I found this site. I read about Tim and emailed The Founder for Tim address and we started talking. I never thought of so many of the things Tim had to say about my husband and about cross dressing. It gave me a new outlook and helped me to start new. Tim has a gift and I truly believe he could help so many on your site if they would just talk to him. I worried at first if I had made a mistake emailing him. It didn't take long to know I found someone to help me.

Dee…

The first time I spoke with Tim, I confess I was perplexed, curious yet very interested in his approach to working with CDW. I quickly discovered he starts with the CDW (listening, understanding and caring). Then he often includes the CDH. The results are amazing. Not all couples will survive this-but either way-CDW should seek therapy. Despite the fact Tim is not a therapist-he nonetheless has a very unique perspective as well as tools and skills to help CDW and CDH.

Also, please know Tim has worked endlessly for this non-profit, Cross Dressers Wives. He has generously donated so much and as the founder all I can say is, Thank you Tim, you are a Gem and we cherish you!

*(Please not that the aforementioned are the opinions of the cross dressers wives who generously shared their thoughts).

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Updates:

We are ½ way to our goal for our necessary questionnaire. Please know it is anonymous and the only way society is going to learn about us and what happens to CDW is by filling out the survey-you are the world’s experts. This questionnaire will be published as a direct result from all of your trailblazing responses.

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 Inspirational Quote:

“Give up one activity that blocks you from getting on with the joy of living.”(100 Ways to Keep Your Soul Alive by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat pg.44)

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Happy Father’s Day! This is my first Father’s Day without my beloved father, Joseph.  For all of you who are fortunate to have your fathers, cherish them. For those whose Fathers have passed, God bless them all!

Blessings & Gratitude,

Dee