TOPIC FOR THE MONTH –
CATEGORIES OF CROSS DRESSING….
Most sex and gender researchers recognize that there is great variation among cross dressers. Four major categories of cross dressers are often cited:
1. Fetishist – The fetishist is typically a heterosexual man who derives sexual arousal by handling or wearing a physical object. In the case of the cross dressing fetishist, sexually arousal stems from wearing one or more items of women’s clothing. Panties and high-heeled shoes are popular. This behavior usually begins in early adolescence. The typical fetishist may have fantasies of “being a woman” but most make little effort to actually appear female. It is rare for the fetishist to go out in public cross dressed.
* As fetishism is strongly associated with secretive masturbation, the fetishist cross dresser’s wife may have little or no knowledge of what’s going on.
2. Cross Dressers - These heterosexual men have an attraction to and acquire or gain access to women’s clothing, wigs, and makeup. This behavior develops when men are still boys and is most often associated with strong feelings of excitement, pleasure, and even feminine gender identity. Often, deep shame is associated with this behavior and many cross dressers strive to conceal it. Some cross dress only when away from home, or in another city. For some, there is an intense desire to go out in public while cross dressed and get reactions from others. A small percentage of cross dressers develop an intense conviction that they are “women,” and subsequently insist on living entirely as a woman. Females may also cross dress but their motivations for dressing in men’s clothing have historically been different. For example, women have dressed as men so that they could pursue better careers, gain an education, fight in wars, vote, etc.
* Most of the cross dressers’ wives that we have surveyed prefer not to share sexual activities with a cross dressed husband, despite his requests for this.
3. Transsexuals – Many female and male transsexuals experience an intense belief that they must live their lives in the gender opposite their genetic sex. If they believe this, it is proper to refer to them as transsexual, regardless of whether any surgical procedures have taken place. Their gender role behavior is what counts. The surgical options for both the female and male transsexuals vary, but taking prescribed opposite sex hormones over many years usually precedes procedures. Genetic males may develop breasts while genetic females grow facial hair and have a lowering of the voice. Most transsexual females who become males have a lesbian history. In genetic males, the sexual history may be either heterosexual or homosexual.
* A small percentage of spouses remain married to transsexuals, but most often the transition ultimately leads to the dissolution of a marriage.
4. Drag Queens - These individuals are invariably homosexual males who dress in flamboyant, attention-grabbing fashion as a form of creative expression. Many drag queens perform as entertainers. Usually they do not experience the same intense feelings as described by fetishists, transsexuals, and cross dressers.
All of these cross dressing variations are referred to as transgender behaviors. Other variations exist which are not discussed here. Cross Dressers Wives continues to seek detailed information about the complex world of cross dressing, as evidenced by our comprehensive new Questionnaire II. We hope that cross dressers’ wives from around the globe will take the time to fill out this vital questionnaire. After all, you are the experts!
With Blessings & Gratitude,
Dee & Friends
HOTLINE
Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with thousands of cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife.
Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes are free.
HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS
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"I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."
"The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."
"The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."
"After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers’ wives - the Founder is."
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We are a charitable, non for profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely almost solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support. Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.
For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Credit card donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’
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INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE OF THE MONTH
“The next best thing to winning is losing! At least you’ve been in the race.” Believing In Ourselves: The Wisdom of Women, Tullis, pg. 212, 1997.
