TOPIC FOR THE MONTH –
“WHAT IS CROSS DRESSING?”
Of late, many of the newer wives on our Forum have repeatedly asked a common question – What is cross dressing and can my man be cured? What most of society thinks it knows about cross dressing is really nothing more than myth. Quite simply, cross dressing is defined as wearing clothing commonly associated with the opposite gender. Period. Cross dressing, or transvestism, implies no transgender, sexual, or homosexual motives.
Most often, cross dressing begins in early childhood and there is no known “cure” for this lifelong condition. Nature or nurture? The jury is out and few solid answers exist. Some social scientists will argue strongly that societal expectations of men are so rigid that in order to alleviate the stress of this expectation, men reach for women’s clothing as a method of balancing their masculine with their feminine side. Other social scientists will say the budding cross dresser is attempting to disassociate his or herself from the same-sex parent. Others argue that this is biochemically determined in utero.
Case in point, the recent blockbuster film J. Edgar starring Leonard DiCaprio as history’s most infamous cross dresser, FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover, clearly demonstrates classic signs of the developing cross dresser:
The young Hoover rejected and was dismissive of his insane father. Hoover adored and revered his dominant mother for her entire life. He had a tactile fascination with silky garments and shiny surfaces; the set for his bedroom overflows with lace doilies, his mother's jewelry, ivory and gleaming woods smooth to the touch, and delicate scarves tossed liberally over everything. Early in the film, it is established that Hoover can "keep a secret" and that "information is powerful." There is a strong sartorial undercurrent throughout the film.
Although the film depicts the extreme inner torment that Hoover suffers as a closeted homosexual cross dresser, this is not the norm. Overwhelmingly, studies show that 85% of cross dressers are heterosexual men who marry and father children with their often clueless wives. When a closeted cross dresser marries, he misrepresents himself. Our new book, The Cross Dresser’s Wife * Our Secret Lives, depicts in shocking emotional detail how such a secret can inflict untold harm on all involved.
As society is exposed to more and more truths about cross dressing, perhaps the shroud of absolute secrecy can be lifted. Knowledge and dialogue are needed to bust the myths and pull cross dressing out of the closet once and for all.
Merry Holidays!
Dee a.k.a. The Founder
HOTLINE
Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife. Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes are free.
HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS
"The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel better than the year I spent in therapy."
“You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”
"The advice I received from the Founder about setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."
"After my consultation, I realized my therapist was not the expert on cross dressers wives - the Founder is."
"I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."
DONATIONS & VOLUNTEERS
We are a charitable, non-profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support. Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt. This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is simply comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.
For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Donations made via PayPal appear as ‘CDW.’
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE
“Watch for big problems. They disguise big opportunities.” The Complete Life’s Little Instruction Book, by H. Jackson Brown, Jr. (page 41)
