This past month, I have received quite a few inquiries regarding my romantic life after my divorce from my cross dressing husband of twenty years. This is not the most comfortable topic for me, so I apologize for not addressing it earlier. In fact, at the moment I’m single but that was not always the case…
Before my marriage, I was breezy and outgoing, not to mention a lot younger. I could afford to be picky - and I was. Being away from the dating scene for so long left me feeling scared, unprepared, and reluctant to trust any new guy. All I could think was, Another man is going to touch me? See me naked? Other than my husband? What if he turns out to be a cross dresser? Two full years passed before I ever seriously considered a new lover.
Then, on a summer night when I least expected it, I met a man outside a party in Beverly Hills. I stepped out for a breath of fresh air and there he was, my soon-to-be first post-divorce boyfriend. He is adorable, very keen on affection. His gentleness put me at ease. He is sweet and made me laugh and feel like I was twenty again. I could confide my struggles in him. In addition to light and music, he made it easy for me to usher trust, passion, love, and spirituality back into my life.
However, our timing never seemed quite right. Our relationship swung back and forth like a pendulum, with one of us always feeling more serious than the other, and vice-versa. Currently, we are committed to remaining close lifelong friends.
Approximately four months after my breakup with my first post-divorce boyfriend #1, one winter night I pulled my car up to another party and parked. It was dark. There weren’t many cars around, not yet. As I waited for my friend to arrive so that we could go inside together, I noticed a big black luxury car parking across the street. Immediately, I sensed a strong ominous energy. The driver did not move. I figured he was another party guest but I also knew he was a man and I was alone. Finally, other guests began arriving and I joined the crowd moving inside. As I passed through the front gates, I heard his car door close.
Once inside the party, he found me. Is he really walking up to me?, I was thinking as this tall Valentino, in a creamy vanilla linen blazer, approached me. He turned out to be really nice. We talked on the phone for ten days before our first official date. He slept on my couch for weeks before proceeding to the bedroom. In spite of feeling loved, protected and safe together, unfortunately we each brought unresolved issues from former marriages into the relationship. We dated exclusively for exactly one year and remain close friends today.
The bottom line is, in spite of my painful divorce from a cross dresser who lied to me about it for decades, I went on to love again. Both times. Truly. Moving on means living with an open heart. Also, I understand my cross dressing ex-husband now more than ever. Forgiving is not easy and I’m still in the process. Nonetheless, I still believe in love…
Blessings and Gratitude,
The Founder
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HOTLINE
Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers’ wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s wife. Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an hour. The first 15 minutes is free.
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INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE
“I am willing to be willing to forgive _____.
I am willing to forgive _____.
I forgive _____.”
Sue Patton Thoele, The Woman’s Book of Courage – Meditations For Empowerment & Peace Of Mind, p. 43.
