Is My Husband Heterosexual, Gay or Bisexual?
Our worldwide forum has received a multitude of new posts from so many welcomed newcomers. Every month our newsletter is geared towards a common theme that originates from the forum. There have always been many concerns about our cross dressing husbands and/or partners, who some of us suspect might be gay or bi-sexual cross dressers. However, recently there has been a significant increase from cross dressers wives who post concerns about their husband’s sexual preference. Many highly suspect (by discovering evidence of activity on gay porn sites or additional questionable behaviors such as lack of sexual interest with us) that their husbands are not simply cross dressers, but are also gay/bi-sexual.
The overwhelming research currently available strongly suggests that approximately 85% of cross dressers are heterosexual. Therefore, according to the majority data currently available, only 15% of cross-dressers are known to be gay and some are bisexual.
In fact, according to Cross-Dressing, Sex and Gender, by Vern L. Bullough and Bonnie Bullough, there has been a diversity of cross-cultural studies by social scientists from 1970s to 1988. Their findings revealed the following data:
(1) The number of cross dressers who are strictly heterosexual range from 72% to 97%.
(2) The number of cross dressers who are exclusively gay range from 3% to 9%.
(3) Bisexual cross dressers in the US make up 28% of the cross-dressing population.
(4) The number of cross dressers who are married range from 78% to 88%.
These findings would indicate that the overwhelming majority of cross dressers are heterosexual and married. Therefore our cross dressing husbands are much more likely to be heterosexual; however, that does not eliminate the possibility that a small percentage of them are in fact gay or bisexual.
Curiously, unusual findings have been uncovered by Marc E. Vargo, MS, in Acts of Disclosure: The Coming –Out Process of Contemporary Gay Men. Through his research conducted by counseling many gay adolescents, Vargo came to the realization that some of them reported cross dressing because they, “…mistakenly believed that, as gay individuals, that is what they were supposed to do.” Vargo also suggests that some adolescent gays stopped cross dressing once they met and socialized with other young gay men, who did not cross dress. Obviously, even gay adolescents are confused; some buy into the misconceptions, misinformation, malinformation and myths that cross dressers are gay and gays are cross dressers. This myth needs to be ousted and corrected for the sake of everyone involved, which is inclusive of gays, cross dressers, cross dressers wives, and society in general.
Cross dressers cannot nor should not be pigeonholed as gay because they, like cross dressers wives, are all distinctly different from one another. Another indicator that many cross dressers are not gay lies in the fact that there are many inter-social clubs for heterosexual cross dressers throughout many countries. If the need were not there these groups would not exist.
Furthermore, more research by Peggy J. Rudd’s, My Husband Wears My Clothes, strongly upholds her theory that the majority of cross dressers, especially those who are femmophilia (a strong love for their feminine side-with no sexual connotations) have no intention of engaging in homosexual acts.
The ongoing problems and challenges regarding the sexual preferences of cross dressers is that society assumes that all cross dressers are homosexuals. Why else would they dress up in feminine clothing? This common falsehood/misconception indicates a strong need for more research and awareness for the lifelong condition of cross dressing. Cumulative worldwide research by social scientists, as well as the information provided by cross dresser sites and the overwhelming results from our worldwide website survey, indicates that the majority of our cross dressing husbands are in fact heterosexual.
Logic dictates that since there is so much secrecy surrounding the issue of cross dressing and that many cross dressers are still in the closet, that the margin for error on the aforementioned studies, statistics and theories are most likely high, since many cross dressers have not or will not disclose their condition. Many stay in denial, protecting their secrets from themselves, their wives, family and friends. Many scientists acknowledge that their findings are highly questionable due to the under-reporting of cross dressers and their sexual preferences. There is a high probability that the number of cross dressers recorded is actually much higher than we currently estimate. Clearly, more extensive longitudinal and latitudinal studies need to be done on this highly controversial issue.
Nonetheless, there is a multitude of recent posts that suggests that many who participate on this forum have reason to suspect that their cross dressing husbands fall into the minority. Reviewing the posts, indicates that many wives have concrete evidence that their cross dressing husbands are in fact engaging in homosexual acts and/or are spending a lot of their time on gay related sites. Many cross dressers wives ask why a heterosexual cross dresser would visit gay porn sites? Why would they post pictures of themselves on to gay porn sites? Sign up for gay cross dressing dating sites? Is it out of curiosity? Exploration of their own sexuality? Are they fearful of being gay, or being ousted? Do some believe if they are cross dressers that they must be gay? It is important to note that some might not have any concrete answers. Some cross dressers are also scared, confused and do not understand all of the underpinnings of cross dressing and how it might relate to their sexual preference. Denial goes both ways…some of them stay in denial, as do their wives.
Additionally, it is important to note, according to several forum postings many cross dressing husbands deny any desires or acts of homosexuality. Many cross dressers’ wives are highly suspicious of their husbands’ conduct and behaviors. Most often when cross dressers wives discover their husband’s on-line history, and come across valid concerns over their husbands true sexual desires, (via the Internet) they are often distraught by more lies, deceit and betrayal. Many question if they can trust their husbands who have repeatedly chosen not to disclose being a cross dresser, bisexual or homosexual. It appears from the worldwide posts that some wives are not just fearful of their husbands being cross dressers but also being cross dressing homosexuals or bisexuals.
Therefore, if you want to know the truth about your cross dressing husbands’ sexual preferences and you have some reason to suspect or question their sexuality, pay attention to any possible clues. Follow any and all possible leads. Some cross dressers wives might choose to investigate their husbands on line activities, openly discuss their concerns with their cross dressing husbands, or seek couples counseling (preferably with a therapist who specializes in cross dressing). Our July Newsletter focuses on the issue of choosing to snoop or not to snoop. Many of our cross dressing husbands might not know the truth about the origins of their condition but they are well aware of their behaviors. As their wives or partners, we have the right to the truth about their conduct. How we choose, or if we choose to find out, boils down to an individual choice, which is frequently a painful one.
In conclusion, if you suspect or have evidence that suggests or proves your husband has engaged in sex outside of marriage, it is vital for your health and well being to be tested for STDs and AIDS. It is a merely a precautionary measure to ensure that you are safe from the aforementioned diseases. It is in your power to protect yourself from any possible physical harm! It is a relief to find out at least your body has not contracted any of these diseases (even though the possibly is extremely slight, it is worth seeing a doctor).
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Upcoming Changes to Cross Dressers Wives Web Site
Please note that we are currently developing a new link, specifically designed for newcomers! The main purpose is to enlighten these cross dressers wives and familiarize them with our worldwide site. It is vital that they understand our goals and missions, various links and most importantly our forum, which is the engine that drives, our non-for-profit, Cross-Dressers Wives. It will provide them with a quick overview of the benefits and history of our website!
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Donations and Volunteers Needed
As a non-for-profit (NPO) charitable tax-deductible organization, we rely solely on contributions and grants to support our much-needed organization. Funds are low and grants during these difficult financial times are limiting our abilities to expand, despite the obvious need to do so. Every dollar can assist Cross Dressers Wives to develop outreach programs to worldwide cross dressers wives, who are in need of assistance. Furthermore, it is our intention to provide a hotline designed specifically for cross dressers wives who are struggling with this lifelong condition and wish to talk with other cross dressers wives about their challenging circumstances. Please visit our links to make contributions or to volunteer your services to help us assist those women who are in need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, guidance and validate their emotions. Many of us have lived in complete silence but not without enormous struggles, pain and confusion. For most of us, it is comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States alone, whose needs must be met. Only other cross dressers wives have ever walked in our “high heels” (except for many of our cross dressing husbands). A sense of humor is vital!!!
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Information Regarding Our Upcoming Book
For those of you who have expressed an interest in submitting your anynomous stories for our upcoming book, please contact the Founder @ cdwives@gmail.com. Thank you all in advance for your willingness to share your stories.
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Our inspirational Quote for October originates from, The Woman’s Book of Confidence, by Sue Patten Thoele…
“I have the courage to feel my feelings. I express my grief constructively. I am strong and able to transcend and heal my wounds.”
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With much gratitude, appreciation and blessings,
The Founder
