Topic of the Month: His Lingerie
As many of you have stated on the forum and in our survey, it is highly common for many cross dressers to wear silky feminine clothes and or lingerie.
In the book, 7 Secrets, by Lacy Leigh, she addresses the issue of the bedroom trap (pg.118). In essence the aforementioned acknowledges that if your encounters with your cross dressing husband is virtually only in the bedroom and he is wearing lingerie, it is very common for the wife/partner to assume cross dressing is all about sex. However, it is much more complicated than that.
According to many hundreds of our forum posts and to our surveys, some cross dressers only ‘dress up’ the bedroom. In fact, our uncontrolled and random sample survey indicates the following:
15% of cross dressing husbands only dress in lingerie while in the bedroom.
10% do not dress in lingerie according to their wives/partners.
25% of cross dressers wives chose not to answer this question.
50% answered that sometimes their husbands dress in lingerie in the bedroom.
Many cross dressers claim they just love the feel of silk on them. However, so many of our stories indicate that even when we purchase silk men’s underwear for them, they choose not to wear it. Logic would dictate that it is not SILK that drives them to wear silky lingerie.
Social scientists are still debating why this occurs. All we know for sure is that some cross dressers only dress in lingerie while in the bedroom. However, that is not to say they are not cross dressing in other pieces of woman’s clothing when we are not present. Perhaps they are wearing lingerie under their everyday clothes.
Lacy Leigh urges cross dressers to disclose this information early on in the relationship. She also suggests to cross dressers not to scare their wives (who do not know yet, or just found out) by cross dressing in front of them. Leigh states, You’ll only reinforce her worst fears if you begin too soon (pg117). For many of us, our worst fears have materialized in the form of silk…
Blessings,
The Founder
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FREE PHONE CONSULTATION
We are offering a free 15-minute phone consultation. In April we began our Consultation Services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an M.A. in Social Sciences and has worked with over one thousand cross dressers wives. She is not a licensed therapist, however, she is a former cross dressers wife. Please book your free 15-minute phone consultation by contacting us at cdwives@gmail.com. Our basic fee is $50 an hour.
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Donations and Volunteers
We are a charitable, nonprofit organization. All donations are tax deductible. We rely solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. During these difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand and help those in need. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop outreach programs for worldwide cross dressers wives who seek assistance and support. Please visit our links to make a contribution or volunteer your services to help us assist these women who are in dire need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial and guilt. This has not come without enormous consequences. It is comforting to know that we are not alone! There are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose unique needs must be met. Any contributions will be greatly appreciated. Only other cross dressers wives have ever walked in our, "high heels" (except for many of our cross dressing husbands). A sense of humor may often be essential for our survival.
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Book Update
Our book, Our Lives As Cross Dressers Wives, is currently being edited. Anyone interested in submitting her story may contact us at cdwives@gmail.com. All of our stories are anonymous and all participants will receive compensation for their five to twenty-five page story. Please note; we are not seeking writers per say, just your story to enlighten others about the experiences of some cross dressers wives.
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Inspiration Quote
It’s a good thing we have the denial system, because it allows us to cover our wounds and still function. But once we no longer have any wounds or any poisons, we don’t need to lie anymore.” (The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz).
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