About one year ago, while reading our world wide active forum, it suddenly occurred to me that the non-for profit, Cross Dressers Wives, should compile our anonymous stories. The purpose of constructing this much-needed book is to disclose our unknown lifestyles as cross dressers wives. The deficiency of information about our lives is symbolic of why so many of us never tell anyone. Only those cross dressers wives who are willing participants would be included in this currently unpublished book. It is my hope that these significant, indispensable, compelling and yet virtually untold stories will enlighten society about this marginalized group of millions of women all over the world (aka-all of US). The primary focus is on supporting cross dressers wives, who are struggling with this issue most often in silence. By telling our stories, how we found out, how we dealt with it, when we found out, what happened to our lives, how we pulled through or are still in the process of coping with being married or having a partner that is a cross dresser, are all pertinent and vital information. Society needs to know we exist and many of us have undergone such baneful journeys, alone. And how many more of us are suffering, or do not know his secret yet and are living an unknown and unforeseen life of lies?
The book will follow the mission statement of this non-for profit organization and therefore as we disclose our stories, we will respect the rights of cross dressers. This is not about bashing cross dressers. We uphold that cross dressers have every right to dress like women. However, it is important to note, what they do not have the right to do is to lie to us at the altar, and take away our choice whether to knowingly marry a cross dresser or not. Many of us would hope that this essential book would help to encourage cross dressers to disclose their condition-long before their unsuspecting bride walks down that aisle. It is also vital to discuss why so many of cross dressers (cds) choose not to tell.
Please find some suggestions as well as flexible guidelines for any and all cross dressers wives interested in being considered a possible contributor for the upcoming book. Furthermore, the non-for profit (NPO) Cross Dressers Wives wishes to thank you all for your wonderful support and contributions to our web site, as well as the book. We need to lean on each other, support each other, share our stories and seek advice from one another. Also our non for profit wishes to make it absolutely clear that any and all of your written contributions on the web site are so very meaningful to everyone. Additionally, Cross Dressers Wives hopes that anyone who does not wish or is not able to contribute in this way needs to know that we appreciate and understand your often-difficult positions. Nonetheless, we recognize and sincerely appreciate your other valuable participation on this site.
This unpublished book has the potential to reach out to other CD wives-who we know are suffering. Cross Dressers Wives hopes that the majority of possible proceeds can be utilized to build the NPO/website-which would include a cross dressers 911 hot line (at least for a few scheduled days a week at various hours to assist those cd wives from other countries). We receive e-mails from all over the world from cd wives seeking assistance and asking to speak to other cross dressers wives.
It is also my wish to have the site available in several different languages-since we receive hits worldwide everyday and I hate to think a language barrier is preventing some cd wives from receiving assistance that many desperately need. Therefore to assist those non-English speaking cross dressers wives, we wish to have this book published in multiple languages.
There are so many myths as well and concerns that need to be addressed in telling our personal stories.
1) CD are gay...the truth is NO they are not! They are overwhelming married and heterosexual.
2) How did they hide this from us?
3) Why are there so few studies done on cross dressers- and why are our needs as cd wives virtually ignored?
4) Our initial reactions.
5) Why most of us never tell anyone.
6) Purging.
7) BETRAYAL often hurts more than cross-dressing.
8) What about our children-do they know? How do they feel? How did they find out?
9) Why do so many of us feel such guilt, shame, and self-blame?
10) Why do some of us stay, leave, reside as roommates or live in denial?
11) Can he stop? If he loved me he would stop! Right?
12) Why can't so many of us just accept it and enjoy it?
13) Did he dress up in front of us?
14) In hindsight-what were some missed signs (like dressing up EVER YEAR on Halloween as women. Or sometimes our clothes were missing or missed placed.
15) How can we reach out to each other and lend advice, support and share our stories?
16) We need to have our needs accepted, met, addressed and exposed. Why do some many of feel like damaged goods? We did nothing wrong- other than trust our husbands.
17) Should we stay for the sake of our children?
18) Has our religious beliefs impacted our decisions?
19) Did you find a trained counselor in this astonishing, unusual and uncommon field?
20) Provide educational information we have come across.
21) Enlighten society about CD-but moreover about us as cross dressers wives or ex cross dressers wives.
22) Additionally did you become a ‘thriver’, and not a survivor; and if so, how?
23) The list of what to disclose and discuss is endless. I suspect many wives/ partners can write about their forum posts, what they have learned from each other, tell their stories-and how they are managing the daily struggles that so many of us experience.
Some stories are bound to be longer and more in depth. The more you choose to disclose the richer the book will be. Cross Dressers Wives would prefer that you limit your submissions to a minimum of 5 pages and a maximum of 20 pages.
All interested parties please contact Cross Dressers Wives ASAP at
Many have contacted me wit a desire to share their stories but feared their writing skills needed polishing and assistance. Please note, we will help to edit your stories without changing the contents of your story.
If you are interested in finding out more information, please e-mail me. I look forward to receiving your e-mails so that this much needed project can swiftly move forward. Our stories must be told since most books about cross dressers wives are about loving the feminine side of their cd husbands. Our stories disclose the other side, which appears to be the silent majority. Many gays, lesbians, transgenders, transsexuals, cross dressers are out of the closet. This is our turn to break out of our silent closets and anynomously ‘come out’ together.
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Donation Contributions
As a non-for-profit (NPO) charitable tax-deductible organization, we rely solely on contributions and grants to support our much-needed organization. Funds are low and grants during these difficult financial times are limiting our abilities to expand, despite the obvious need to do so. Every dollar can assist Cross Dressers Wives to develop outreach programs to worldwide cross dressers wives, who are in need of immediate assistance. Please visit our links to make contributions or to volunteer your services to help us assist those women who are in need of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion and guidance. Many of us have lived in complete silence but not without enormous struggles, pain, confusion and sometimes-severe consequences. For most of us, it is comforting to know that we are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States alone, whose needs must be met. Only other cross dressers wives have ever walked in our ‘high heels’ (except for many of our cross dressing husbands). A sense of humor is vital!!! However, it took me years to reach the stage where I could locate the humor through the pain.
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
May you and yours enjoy all of your blessings during this holiday season. May the changing of seasons usher in positive and welcome changes in your lives. Please feel free to comment on our newsletters. We always welcome your input, suggestions and various opinions!
With much gratitude, appreciation and blessings,
The Founder
cdwives@gmail.com
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