Where can
you find experts on cross dressing? Look in the mirror-that is right-it is you.
You are the expert about your husband’s cross dressing. Yes, many
therapists have taken courses that deal with this issue but you are the one
being exposed to your CDH’s condition, everyday, 24/7, 365 days a year. Even if
he has never ‘dressed up’ in front of you-nonetheless, you know by now what
your CDH is like when he purges and when he is sexually gratifying himself
while ‘dressed up.” Now you are picking up the clues-you know where his bag of
tricks are and you know when the bag has been in use. The computer has also
disclosed the she porn he is watching on a regular basis. I am not claiming you
understand this behavior-only that you are in a position to witness the
behaviors associated with cross dressers-your husband/partner.
For the
first time in our history we have a section in our newsletter designed for the
CDW: The real experts. This month, our first voice is Bambi. She, along with
some others, are almost daily is on this website.
Bambi
came and shared her story with us. It did not take long for all of us to keep
an eye out for Bambi’s posts. So many of them are filled with hilarious sarcasm
and other times-she just tells it like it is. She is always one of the first to
greet a newcomer, make them feel confortable and she-like so many of you
–really cares about the well being of CDW.
Please
know that the CDW Corner of the newsletter is a permanent addition. We feel
that so many of you have experienced so many challenges, and though our non for
profit may not agree with all that is written, we appreciate all CDW
contributions to this website and especially the Forum. Thank you Bambi for so
many things…
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Tim’s Corner (Our family cross dressing advisor)
He will
be back next month but wishes all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving!
Cheers,
Tim
CDW
Corner: Our first host is Bambi!
I found out I was a CDW in August 2011. I had never heard of
Cross Dressing. So I turned to the Web for Information. I started posting
on the Forum January 2012. One morning I was on the Forum and different
cross dressers wives were telling their stories. The last post I read that
morning, was a post from a CDW by the name of Dusty. I was standing in my
kitchen and thinking about something Dusty had just posted. And all of a sudden
I saw my best friends’ husbands face and realized why she did what she did. I
crumbled to the floor! I put my hands over my head and screamed at the top of
my lungs "OMG NO"! I sat on my kitchen floor for numerous hours,
rocking back and forth, my hands over my head and cried for my BF! I finally
realized what really happened to her and why! She, like me, was a closeted,
miserable cross dresser’s wife.
I had
been on numerous vacations with her and her husband! I had to get my hands on
those pictures. The first one is an 8 X10 Cruise picture of her and her husband
in short shorts. "YES" he and my BF are both about the same height;
“YES" they are both about the same weight, and "YES" HIS LEGS
ARE SHAVED! I always KNEW there was something "AMISS" at that home,
but I could never figure out what it was! UNTIL NOW, Thirteen YEARS TOO
LATE!
My BF was the kindest, sweetest person I have ever met. She
was also the weakest person I have ever met! My BF was an Alcoholic. I went to
Open AA Meetings with her for years. “OPEN" meetings, you are allowed to
bring a loved one. "YES" she belonged In AA! But, she also NEEDED to
tell her story! I NOW understand why she never told her story at those
meetings! I NOW understand why she could never connect to others at the
meetings! I NOW understand her life!
Thirteen years ago I received that telephone call at 5:00
in the morning. Her daughter called and told me “my father was at a function
last night, he arrived home at 11:30PM and found my mother dead." My BF
had a heart attack, due to a mixture of liquor and diet pills. The heart attack
was due to years of abuse! Her body just could not take any more
abuse! She was "ONLY" 45 when she passed! She was a closeted
cross dresser’s wife, who could not handle the stress, anxiety and pressure of
living a secretive life anymore.
I have so many unanswered questions! And NOW I have answers to
so many questions! I KNOW she had NEVER told anybody! I KNOW she had started
drinking to make it easier to go into that bedroom every night! I KNOW she was
always fighting that extra weight, so he could no longer wear her clothing! I
now UNDERSTAND, 13 YEARS TO LATE!
I shared my Best Friends Story, in the "HOPE" that it
will save other CDW'S! As NOW I am also "HER" voice!
Tell SOMEBODY, don’t self-medicate, etc., etc. I know other
CD wives are in jeopardy! What this does to a woman mentally is unhealthy, and
to make matters worse, how many are self-medicating to go into that bedroom?
One CDW posted she had to have EXTRA drinks to go to bed with her CDH; she was
a wife that knew prior to marriage! But her CDH had escalated! Time flies when
a wife that did NOT know and she had posted that now she has to have a few
drinks before bed her H!
I have questions for time flies but she has not been on the
Forum as of recent! How many girls/women are self-medicating and NOT posting
that? I remember saying to my BF'S H one day “she is NOT opening up at
these meetings, lets get her in Therapy!" Her H says to me “she
does NOT need Therapy, she needs AA to stop her drinking!" I NOW understand WHY
he NEVER wanted her In Therapy; he was in fear she would tell a Therapist what
was going on in that house! My BF'S H.... he is a white male, EXTREMELY
successful Business man, well educated, great father and a NARCISSUS! ALL of
the makings of some CD’s!
Sincerely,
Bambi
PS Those of you, who are fortunate enough to know Bambi, realize
why she is so special to us. I had no idea that not only was she suffering from
being a cross dresser’s wife-but that she actually lost her best friend, who
was apparently a closeted cross dresser’s wife. May God Bless her. Bambi, thank
you for being her voice!
Blessings,
Dee
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UPDATE
The Founder has been a guest speaker at a few college classes,
as well as salons. We are trying each day to get the word out about CDW and the
types of challenges they are dealing with-but first we need to educate people
about CD-and bust the myths about CD being gay! Then why are CD overwhelmingly
married and many have children? Well, we know but the rest of the world is
still in the closet, and clearly in the dark. Let us continue to shed some
light on this thorny, murky taboo sub culture.
_____________________________________________
HOTLINE
Cross Dressers Wives NPO offers live telephone
consultation services with The Founder. She holds a BA in Women Studies, an
M.A. in Social Sciences, and has worked with thousands of cross dressers’
wives. The Founder is not a licensed therapist; she is a former cross dresser’s
wife.
Please book your Hotline consultation by contacting cdwives@gmail.com. The basic fee is $50 an
hour. The first 15 minutes are free.
_____________________________________________
HOTLINE TESTIMONIALS
"You have no idea. You’ve saved my life.”
"I cannot tell you how blessed I felt to have
someone I could talk to about this that has shared this experience."
"The advice I received from the Founder about
setting boundaries was a big help to my marriage."
"The hour I spent speaking with you made me feel
better than the year I spent in therapy."
"After my consultation, I realized my therapist
was not the expert on cross dressers’ wives - the Founder is."
________________________________________
DONATIONS; VOLUNTEER
We is a charitable, non-for profit organization. All donations are tax deductible. Presently, we rely almost solely on donations and grants to support our much-needed services. In difficult financial times, funds are short, limiting our ability to expand our Hotline and international outreach resources. Every dollar we raise can assist Cross Dressers Wives NPO develop worldwide programs for cross dressers wives seeking assistance and support.
Please visit our links to purchase our book, make a financial
contribution, or volunteer your services to help us assist women in dire need
of support, education, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and guidance.
Many of us have lived in complete silence, denial, and guilt.
This does not come without enormous consequences. Sometimes, it is
simply comforting to know that we are not alone. There
are millions of us in the United States and throughout the world whose
unique needs must be met. All contributions are greatly appreciated.
For privacy purposes, donations made by check may be made
payable to ‘CDW’ or ‘CROSS DRESSERS WIVES.’ Credit card donations made via PayPal
appear as ‘CDW.’
____________________________________________
Inspirational
Quote of the month:
“If
you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it.” Margaret Fuller,
journalist, critic, and women’s rights advocate
